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[c]d4rkang3l
Monday, December 26, 2011
Hey,
Blogging again..


Have been super long since I blogged..
Juz fed kiki haha
Lucky he didnt starve to death..
Sorry Kiki..
Haha
Do feed Kiki if you are reading this too =)

Came back from korea..
And am leaving for hong kong soon
1 Wk and 1 day to be exact..

1 yr and 1 sem of uni life has passed
Lots to reflect about
Lots to think about
Lots to be proud of
Lots to be ashamed of

Feeling that I still have not become stronger this past year
Not enough courage to chase after what I really want
Not enough strength to hold on till the end
Not enough determination to forget things that i have to forget

But at the same time,
I feel like I have put in alot of effort to hold on to some dear to me,
To make time for them,
To be a pillar for them to lean on,
To put a smile on their faces
I still rmb wc asking me,
You very free hor,
Everyday also can come out,
Not tired meh...

Or course at that time I juz smiled
But there's alot of meaning behind this
There is a reason for everything
A reason why I am always free to meet george n wc
A reason why I am always free to meet lao mu at west mall
A reason why I am always not free for some uni dinner meet ups
A reason why I am always too tired for certain things
Because you know that no matter how it is,
This is always a way to make time for people you love

This year I have learnt alot,
Gain alot.
From those dear to me.
I had a dessert place and buddy to chill with
I had a park to sit and stone with
I had a buddy to movie and churros with
I had 2 gd buddies that were willing to halloween with me
Though one had to book in early the next day
I had 2 buddies to celebrate a fully packed birthday with me
I had 2 buddies that took several hours to make an awesome card for me
I had a buddy that shared something very important about him to me
I had a buddy that was willing to shop and walk with me after things end
I had a buddy that was willing to take time of with her boy to spend it with me
I had 4 buddies that gave me a memory to bring to hk
I had a buddy that worries for me just because i forget to reply her wad'sapp
I had a buddy that said she will always be here for me when I'm lonely
I had buddies that wanted to fly with me to hk so it wont be scary
To all of them,
Thanks man.
I have received so much love
So much more that I have given.

The coming year would be a totally new experience,
One that I dont know what to expect
One that I dont know how to prepare for
One that I am afraid because all of them are no longer there
A foreign place that i cannot pull them out to hug me
To look after me
So this time I'll be alone.

And this year,
I kinda lost faith in wishes?
For the past year,
Always wishing to find someone special but never having,
Even the closest to those feels like a mistake,
The fleeting feelings always set in and they keep changing.
Putting it nicely would mean leaving everything to fate,
But in reality,
Not wanting to make the first move,
Not wanting to experience failure,
Having a too high self esteem.
All those who made the first move are not those i fancy,
So at the end,
It's back to square one
Back to where nothing has happened,
Nothing has occurred

At first,
I was always trying to avoid.
Cause I found out that we were too similar,
When the matching hypothesis kicks in,
When people are attracted to those similar to them.
Someone very pure,
Not tainted by any previous.
Someone who is as into music as I am,
And probably even more.
Someone who is as literary as me,
But this aspect,
I'm still sure that I'm more well read LOL
Someone who I didnt fancy at the first look
But is his personality that makes you want to look back again
The one that is popular yet reserved.
The one that is cold yet warm.
Someone who is as much into drinking that I am
However,
For some reason,
You will know that you are not someone special to him,
Perhaps just a noisy friend,
Perhaps just a talented friend,
Just a choreographer friend that is nice to have.

And I know just as well that this is a fleeting feeling,
As long as someone else comes,
It will all go away.
So I probably have to wait.

This year,
Has been a cool year too,
Raising my self esteem too..
Having someone that likes you enough just on the first encounter
Having that someone being not a frivolous person
Having someone who can fall from the ski just by staring at you,
Feels great seriously LOL max
Having an idol to complement you
Having to go though lots of ups and downs
Having made cool friends from jap class
HAving made cool friends in korea
Definitely not a year I can easily forget.

Lots to come,
Lots to do,
Lots to remember,
Lots to miss.
I think this year,
I wont be stronger,
But still let me just be me.
Just be the me and make me comfortable.
Love ya~



You coloured my life @
3:01 PM
[c]d4rkang3l

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