Mie blog lor

2011-12-29T21:09:00.004+08:00

Hey,

Blogging again...

This time blogging more about the korea trip..

Haha cuz shir said she would be diary-ing her trip

Then I suddenly feel like I shd too,

To document this journey,

One that would be great to remember

However,

It'll be in pieces though,

Cuz I dont want this blogging process to be a chore,

More of one that I juz blog to remember

Dont want to hide any,

Just want it to truthfully reflect,

Not everything though,

Just things that I want to remember.

Perhaps,

I want to remember the beautiful snowflakes that glistered in the night light,

The snowflakes that are genuinely, crystal shaped

So pretty, so pure, so thought provoking

When looking at this snow,

I cant help but wonder,

Who did I want to share this moment with,

And it was then you realised who were those impt to you,

JC friends,

Sc friends,

Hua yi friends,

The special someone,

But not surprisingly,

Uni friends have never crossed my mind.

And than you think further,

If you will ever meet a special someone,

Someone who you want to protect,

Someone who you want to care for,

Someone who you can rely and trust.

And if I really do,

How will he be like?

I also want to remember the exhilarating rush when skiing

The wind behind your ears,

The increased heartbeat of acceleration,

The coldness covered up by heat of excitement.

Again,

A lone time to think of alot,

As there is a clash of interest in the family.

The land of snow triggers feelings of achievement,

What have I done to make the world different?

In the vast white land,

Compared to my little self,

What do I want to achieve,

And do I even have the courage to achieve it.

I have always prided myself as one that I willing to do whatever I wanted.

To experience things that I want to,

To be who what I wanted to be at all cost.

However,

This time you know you have so much to bear,

So many expectations of you,

That every one move will impact those you love,

That the life you want to lead might not give the best to those around you.

Decisions, decisions,

I wonder how will I choose in the end.

A life for others?

I really dont know.

Skiing was amazing with Gloria and Gideon,

We climbed bout for 45 minutes I'm sure,

Stopping at random grounds to stone on the ice for 5 mins

And we really reached the place where the ski lifts extends to.

That last slide down was super stress though,

Having to break continuously Haha

But at least I didnt crash into someone unlike Gideon

LOL sorry gideon haha

My first higher slope was with funing and fuxiong,

Was urged by funing to go higher though.

Haha, wasnt a good experience coming down though LOL

And a cool experience,

The first time causing someone to fall.

Reminds me of memoirs of the geisha. Haha

An amazing feeling, no words but just a smile.

I want to remember the theme parks,

A place where happiness never ends,

A place where you see smiles,

A place where you hear laughter.

Perhaps,

What I really want to be,

Is a theme park for all those I love,

That I can put a smile on their faces,

Though momentarily,

But still at least for an instant,

They were happy because of me,

And that they dont cry,

Because its the immense sadness that would bring tears,

Unless those are tears of joy.

Wanting to try new experiences,

Where though you love ur family very much,

You know they are unable to accompany you through this one.

A place that you have to go with friends,

To experience the jaw dropping rides,

To buy cute head bands together,

To psycho each other to take rides that you never would have alone,

To create memories that would last a lifetime.

I want to remember the night that everyone came together.

When I made friends with gloria, gideon, gabriel, bronson and funing.

One of the times you are so grateful that facebook existed.

That mutual friends started the spark.

And my noisy personality helped to keep things going.

I can still remember walking to 7-11

In -10 degrees,

To buy a pack of cards worth $7 bucks

LOL max

The distance though short,

Was cool,

Buying stuff with friends at night in Korea.

It's times like this,

You dont think of much,

You just get too caught up with these new friends,

And want to learn more about them.

A cute family with the mini eyes I like.

At night, went to their room with sis,

And poker all the way to 3am man haha

We played heart attack, bridge, slap jack..

All poker games that we could think of,

It was amazing man haha

Just purely chilling and relaxing...

And it was fun finding an NTU friend on foreign grounds,

And an ADM student too!

Haha, cheers to Gabriel.

I hope I'm not too noisy to the 3 of them.

Haha another thing to remember,

The noisy threesome haha

Mateus (pronounced as ma-tie-ears), timothy and jayden

Haha Jayden and his angry bird (penguin from everland) was super funny

Having that 3 little musketeers lighting up the whole tour was enjoyable.

Played oven break, tiny tower with them

3 lovable kids.

But the thing I rmb most and am grateful for is them sharing.

Sharing alot about how they treat their soft toys haha

To the me that didnt know them for too long,

Think it takes a connection for them to pauto on each other LOL

Jayden pulls off all his stitch'es hair LOL haha

And the fact that I know they like me and my sis better than the rest haha

Something you can feel,

Probably all the gaming haha

And last and more importantly,

The fact the Jayden remembered that I was going hongkong for exchange.

You usually dont remember alot about someone you just met,

And especially for kids,

It's something that you dont do.

I still remember Jayden telling his dad,

Dad! I know something about Constance.

She's going hongkong for the next 6 mths!

Mayb it wasnt impt to him,

But it was to me.

To someone that wants to be different,

To someone that wants to be remembered,

To someone that dreads to be just someone on the street.

Thanks Jayden

I dont want to forget thinking of names for the initial happy feet

I dont want to forget settling on the name angry bird

I dont want to forget learning about your lives

I dont want to forget how stitch's butt's cotton all drop out

I dont want to forget playing tiny tower together with Mateus

I dont want to forget worrying about my phone cover when they are playing with my phone

I dont want to forget discussing what movies to watch together

I dont want to forget Mateus telling me that he watched all the movies halfway

I dont want to forget how happy I was when Mateus and Timothy were sitting behind me on the plane

I dont want to forget how Timothy tried to squeeze his head in to the seat infront just because me and sis were infront

I dont want to forget them running to me when they see me

I dont want to forget their bright smiles that would light up my day

Thanks friends =)

That's all for today,

Perhaps another time when I rmb something,

I'll post again.

Hopefully before hk though

Love ya~

2011-12-26T15:01:00.002+08:00

Hey,

Blogging again..

Have been super long since I blogged..

Juz fed kiki haha

Lucky he didnt starve to death..

Sorry Kiki..

Haha

Do feed Kiki if you are reading this too =)

Came back from korea..

And am leaving for hong kong soon

1 Wk and 1 day to be exact..

1 yr and 1 sem of uni life has passed

Lots to reflect about

Lots to think about

Lots to be proud of

Lots to be ashamed of

Feeling that I still have not become stronger this past year

Not enough courage to chase after what I really want

Not enough strength to hold on till the end

Not enough determination to forget things that i have to forget

But at the same time,

I feel like I have put in alot of effort to hold on to some dear to me,

To make time for them,

To be a pillar for them to lean on,

To put a smile on their faces

I still rmb wc asking me,

You very free hor,

Everyday also can come out,

Not tired meh...

Or course at that time I juz smiled

But there's alot of meaning behind this

There is a reason for everything

A reason why I am always free to meet george n wc

A reason why I am always free to meet lao mu at west mall

A reason why I am always not free for some uni dinner meet ups

A reason why I am always too tired for certain things

Because you know that no matter how it is,

This is always a way to make time for people you love

This year I have learnt alot,

Gain alot.

From those dear to me.

I had a dessert place and buddy to chill with

I had a park to sit and stone with

I had a buddy to movie and churros with

I had 2 gd buddies that were willing to halloween with me

Though one had to book in early the next day

I had 2 buddies to celebrate a fully packed birthday with me

I had 2 buddies that took several hours to make an awesome card for me

I had a buddy that shared something very important about him to me

I had a buddy that was willing to shop and walk with me after things end

I had a buddy that was willing to take time of with her boy to spend it with me

I had 4 buddies that gave me a memory to bring to hk

I had a buddy that worries for me just because i forget to reply her wad'sapp

I had a buddy that said she will always be here for me when I'm lonely

I had buddies that wanted to fly with me to hk so it wont be scary

To all of them,

Thanks man.

I have received so much love

So much more that I have given.

The coming year would be a totally new experience,

One that I dont know what to expect

One that I dont know how to prepare for

One that I am afraid because all of them are no longer there

A foreign place that i cannot pull them out to hug me

To look after me

So this time I'll be alone.

And this year,

I kinda lost faith in wishes?

For the past year,

Always wishing to find someone special but never having,

Even the closest to those feels like a mistake,

The fleeting feelings always set in and they keep changing.

Putting it nicely would mean leaving everything to fate,

But in reality,

Not wanting to make the first move,

Not wanting to experience failure,

Having a too high self esteem.

All those who made the first move are not those i fancy,

So at the end,

It's back to square one

Back to where nothing has happened,

Nothing has occurred

At first,

I was always trying to avoid.

Cause I found out that we were too similar,

When the matching hypothesis kicks in,

When people are attracted to those similar to them.

Someone very pure,

Not tainted by any previous.

Someone who is as into music as I am,

And probably even more.

Someone who is as literary as me,

But this aspect,

I'm still sure that I'm more well read LOL

Someone who I didnt fancy at the first look

But is his personality that makes you want to look back again

The one that is popular yet reserved.

The one that is cold yet warm.

Someone who is as much into drinking that I am

However,

For some reason,

You will know that you are not someone special to him,

Perhaps just a noisy friend,

Perhaps just a talented friend,

Just a choreographer friend that is nice to have.

And I know just as well that this is a fleeting feeling,

As long as someone else comes,

It will all go away.

So I probably have to wait.

This year,

Has been a cool year too,

Raising my self esteem too..

Having someone that likes you enough just on the first encounter

Having that someone being not a frivolous person

Having someone who can fall from the ski just by staring at you,

Feels great seriously LOL max

Having an idol to complement you

Having to go though lots of ups and downs

Having made cool friends from jap class

HAving made cool friends in korea

Definitely not a year I can easily forget.

Lots to come,

Lots to do,

Lots to remember,

Lots to miss.

I think this year,

I wont be stronger,

But still let me just be me.

Just be the me and make me comfortable.

Love ya~

2011-07-29T23:35:00.002+08:00

Hey,

Blogging again..

Though I just came back frm camp

HAHA

Tired max, shag max..

But it was super duper fun..

Missed my fellow uziel-ians man

It was super fun being able to be with them tgt again..

And doing wad I love best..

Station masters and zi high-ing

Everything frm the waiting in first day,

To the sneaking of food frm convo

To my very first shooting star in night games,

To beach games and bangla working,

To SP initiation and my transformers gathering,

To crashing of masquerade, NG 100s, fright nite scares,

To SP tekkan, SP dinner and club night,

Even to the convo duty and camp fire!!!

Lots of wonderful memories

Ingenium rocked for me!

Kk..

Blog another day..

I probably am gg-ing soon

zzzz

Love ya

2011-07-18T21:18:00.002+08:00

Hey,

Blogging again..

Stuffy stuffy stuffy

And I seem to not be able to breathe.

It feels tiring and exhausting,

And it sucks not being able to rest well,

Cause even in my sleep,

The problems surface out.

CCA stuff,

Gathering stuff,

Celebration stuff,

Exchange stuff,

Course matching stuff,

Boys stuff,

Friends stuff,

School starting stuff.

I'm dealing with damn lot of nonsense now.

And it is definitely worse than it sounds.

This time,

It feels bad-der..

Even amongst the busyness,

I can hear the deafening silence,

The creepy desolation,

Even before the noisiness quietens down.

CRAP

And just well all these are happening,

My self esteem hits the all time low.

SHIT it man..

Must have been the training on prev sunday.

I think nxt time,

For all future trainings,

I really need to put on my disguise,

The only thing I find comfort and security in.

I really am not confident of this genre,

So please stop saying I'm good in it.

It just feels sadder.

I miss dancing girls style.

The overflowing confidence and exuding aura given off,

Is damn cool and addictive.

Flaunting to the world,

That you are proud to be a girl,

Proud to be who you are.

I desperately need to find this feeling back better and drop any further.

Cuz

It is the confidence you have in yourself that makes others confident about you.

Some happy stuffs now.

Saturday mon was FOC briefing,

Was boring shit,

But thank god shadow made it,

It not I'm like the only one there man..

And it was cool cuz I havent seen her in ages..

Miss her alot ^^

Uziel outing later on was fun too.

We were at the barrage watching fireworks,

And just stoning there..

Getting there was terrible sia

LOL

My yewsoon and matthew waited at the bus stop for like 40 mins MAN

WTH

HAHA

We wait till really wanted to go home le..

Haha

But the process was bonding?

We kept complaining non stop..

When we reached barrage,

Was late le but cld see the fireworks though..

Although we didnt do much,

It was still amazing how everyone was still able to bond like this,

Was still meet, sit and chat like this..

This alone just felt very heartwarming.

Though there's no spark,

I'm still glad,

That it bothers you when they say that,

That you feel shy when they do,

That it's not just some random nonsense to you,

I'm glad,

Seriously =)

Kk,

I gtg le..

Love ya~

2011-07-14T01:06:00.002+08:00

Hey,

Blogging again..

Late at night,

Waiting for my hair to dry..

Dun feel like watching vids,

That's y I'm blogging

LOL MAX

2dae has been a bad day with mixed emotions?

Cuz it's course reg day!!!

HATE COURSE REG DAY =(

Didnt get all my indexes,

Didnt get the mods I wanted

Didnt get same mods as friends

EW EW EW

I'm so stuck with this shitty timetable

With weird timeslots

SIAN MAX =((((

I'm so glad I went out aft that,

Cuz if not,

I'll feel damn sian and sad

Dance was ok?

Cuz Sherman talked to me by surprise,

So I said wrong stuffs?

Stuffs that I shdnt have said or wont said if given another chance..

I should have juz smiled and appreciated his thanks

Crap, another spoilt impression on dance mates

But at least, my effort didnt go through the drain,

I earned my thanks,

For specially going there to perform =)

I'm so glad i did it cuz if I didnt,

I'll probably regret max,

So for this, thanks lao mu for helping out in decision making =)

Dance 2dae was super fun,

Learnt many BBoy floor techniques,

Though I'm still nt good,

But I'll work hard to shine =)

Cuz 2dae's class is small,

Hence the more detailed teaching,

And more attention and personalization

FUN!!!

And i gt my danz ppl shirt! it looks nice =)

But one irritating part is tht one stranger didnt spot me in the pics..

Nt that I care but Am I tht transparent?(this probably means I care)

Went for CAC training later on,

I'm so glad that the couple I'm in charge of quite on,

Everything settle themselves..

Tht leaves me to,

SLACK!

YAY, love slacking!!!

Juz helped out here and there..

Though I said I didnt mind if they changed the moves,

I think deep down, i got abit bu shuang..

I didnt think that I'll actually care sia,

Crap, all the ego's gg to make me feel sad

CRAP

For once,

I kinda realized why I might have chosen yk that time..

I think it's purely because he doesnt treat ppl the same..

You can feel the distance btwn him n the contestants..

I really found it quite weird how the rest can click with thm like best friends

Seriously sia,

I think I really cant,

And even if i can,

I really dont want to..

The distance is crucial and necessary,

And is really comforting.. =)

On the way back,

I sensed something,

Thought it was true and kinda confirmed it at first,

The indescribable gaze,

And the small tell tale signs of conversations..

But this me that you are seeing,

The dance me, and the norm me, is so different.

Luckily, after seeing that formal reply,

It probably was me thinking too much..

The 952 that I saw,

Really pressed me back to reality.

Haha

Oh yay,

I like burned 30 mins

Kk..

Gtg le,

2mr still gt meeting BB

Love ya~

2011-07-05T21:55:00.002+08:00

Hey,

Blogging again...

After so so long?

Many things to do,

Many things to worry about,

Many things to look forward to,

And many things to worry about.

CCA stuffs have been invigorating but tiresome at times..

But nevertheless,

I'm so glad I joined it.

The events that connects my OG together

And I met new friends there,

And these friends I made,

Dont seem the least fake to me.

Was at the girl's photoshoot ytd,

And it was fun!

Was tiring have to prepare stuffs,

Getting up early, travelling so damn far,

But I had fun and I learnt tons of stuff..

Helped Sheena DIY-ed those hair accessories
And help matched the shoot clothing..

Watching the whole process brought on waves of emotions,

Pity, envy, and memories of the past as well..

And just the slightest,

For a brief moment,

I experienced what I wanted,

The intense and warm gaze fixated only on me,

The one that belongs solely to me and not to anyone else.

For that I'm so glad you came.

The big dilemma came afterwards,

A bleak opportunity to improve relations,

It was so tempting though the odds were low,

But I really couldnt just put it aside..

It was a chance for things to improve,

For me to get back into place.

It was when I dialled for help,

Which I suddenly feel the difference.

The difference in concern.

Though both useful and with good intentions,

I could feel the different priorities and the effort to really want to help.

For that,

I'm so grateful.

And for that moment,

I really saw an answer to the dilemma i had long ago

And this answer,

No matter how I am regarded,
Whether or not I am in the best-est of the best,

But I will give my best-est because this is what I should.

In the midst of getting many favourable things,

I experience severe disappointment too.

This time I will not let it slide.

Not until I get an apology I swear.

For breaking something important to me,

The least I could have received is a sincere apology.

Dont give me the shit of throwing all the blame on me.

You know that it is your fault.

Though you feel better when you put the blame on me,

I am not like mummy or daddy that will tolerate all your disrespect.

How would you feel if I broke something important to you,

And I gave the same reaction you did.

Not only did you just inform without any sign of regret,

You made it seem like it didnt have anything to do with you.

Dont give me this nonsense please.

If you did something wrong,

Dont be a coward and just admit, then accept the punishment.
It's just so disappointing that you dont respect people around you.

Kk.

Going to contd my vid spree

Love ya~

2011-05-02T23:43:00.002+08:00

Hey,

Blogging again..

No school today,

But have been in school the whole day..

Studying with my acct buddies..

And I think it is so much more productive..

This is bad,

I can super feel the scale difference btwn my acct buds and me..

Totally different levels le..

They like do all the practice qn dunno how many times le =(

Oh man,

And i'm seriously lagging behind..

Cause of many many things to do this sem thus wasnt able to study with them man..

I can feel the difference,

Feel the distance,

They are from me

After one semester of dilution,

The cold reality hits upon me.

But at least for the final dash,

I have them with me =)

Really thank them super much.

Though there isnt all the fluff,

All the deliberate attempts to please,

I can feel the sincerity,

The thought that once I asked how to do,

They immediately stopped whatever they were doing and helped me,

This i know is extremely hard esp when you are doing other more intense qns

And i really appreciate it lots.

My acct buds are nice TTM

Kk,

I need to go mug,

Need to better,

So that i'm on par

=(

2011-05-01T16:32:00.001+08:00

Hey blogging againExams period timeSo just for 5 mins Let me Emo max For now let me use strong wordsBut I know I don't rlly mean itBut just for this 5 mins I really doI hate my family for doing all this to meAt this critical time and momentWhen I'm am super sensitive to mood swings cuz of examsThough it's something small, Why must you guys do this to meOb concepts at workMaking me doubt my self conceptMaking me lose my self esteem Making self verification very agonizing Even if u didn't get what I wanted most now for me, It's ok But must u guys purposely get something similar for herGo away man, At this very moment, I hate u guys so much Is making me feel so unimportant so fun? Just for tonight, Let me emo, I so don't want to speak to all of you =( K, Back to booksLet all the stupid acct entries erase my saddened mood

2011-03-29T23:01:00.002+08:00

Hey,

Blogging again..

Random emoness again,

I think uni life has taken it's toll on my life again..

So many things to worry about,

And I'm tired again..

Want to rest and all,

Want to rant and all..

And yea,

My performance for cultural night has been over,

And it has been such fun.

But there is sadness lying underneath.

And I totally had no idea,

That in the end,

No matter how hard I tried,

I'm still alone.

I couldnt get anyone to go support me,

That I was not someone special to my friends,

Not as special as they are to me.

I was not someone worth sacrificing for.

I was not someone worth supporting.

Than I was not important.

What made me sad was really,

Not even one.

Friends that I thought I could always count on,

Couldnt even give up one weekend which meant the world to me.

No one had any idea how important it was for me,

My self esteem everything was at stake.

I actually didnt thought about that,

Thinking that it was just a regular performance,

And that I just should have fun with and end.

But while I was trying to get people to see shir perform,

I begin to ask around.

It was then I suddenly feel so small,

Feel that I could so easily be disregarded.

To some extent,

I do regret asking cause precisely because I did,

Which I found out how much I was worth,

It so sad.

And than I thought,

Even to my family,

Something which was so important to me, so frightening to me,

They weren't there.

Dont ever mention to me about the next time,

Because I know that might be that last time I ever have a stage to myself.

I know I'm incapable,

Not as talented as many out there,

But I do have a dream to fulfill,

I do have an impression I want to make.

It's saddening.

Although I do regret that I asked,

I'm actually glad that I asked as well,

Cause it put me right back into place.

That from the start,

I have always been alone.

At least it quelled my thinking that I was ever one that was an important friend.

A friend that meant a difference to someone.

I should understand that I am someone not that capable.

Keep wanting to be strong for the recent years,

But I think I cannot.

While I know I must work harder to be deemed as someone important,

My self esteem is thoroughly crushed.

I have to focus on self healing first.

Trying to build my indestructible was that is much more reliable than people.

The wall that I can lean on myself.

That I wont ever want to anticipate or hope anymore,

Because through this,

I'm ever more clear that I can never tolerate the disappointment.

I dont ever want to trust,

Because after you know that you are just as regular as someone else,

it feels terrible,

It feels like you are being betrayed.

After being crushed directly,

I never want to know,

And I really felt that I wanted to disappear somewhere.

I'm in pain and I have to stand up myself.

Knowing that I am and have always been alone.

I must be stronger, but this time, alone.

2011-03-03T00:38:00.002+08:00

Hey,

Blogging again..

Now's currently thurs morn, 12.38am..

Came back frm dance,

Had sushi for dinner,

Finished my OB assignment and emailed teacher..

And now,

Stoning with the com on and waiting for my hair to dry..

Shir's slping now,

And I'm alone to emo again..

And I'm nt going to the balcony cuz I'll probably stay thr for too long,

And I might meet my mortal on the way and things will get awkward..

Starting to get irritated with my grp of friends tht I hang out with these days..

The clashing of work styles make me feel really uncomfortable at times..

It's all the little little things tht gets on my nerves man =(

But I've kinda no choice,

Cuz I've chosen to change my timetable with them =(

My OB grp's interesting..

The different personalities and all,

And I think it's all boiling down to the same root..

Because I dont meet them so often,

I dunno their weakness and hence I like being ard them..

My circle of friends now felt so fun during my initial times with them..

But as I explore into their personalities more,

I dun like what I'm seeing..

Tht's y I suddenly feel tht I have taken all my friends previously for granted..

I thought if u knew the person very well,

You'll grow to see their strengths and like thm..

Tht has applied to me is sec and jc bt apparantly in uni,

It seems to be the other way for my classmates..

Suay sia..

Luckily for my acct buds and cac friends, things are still going well..

And I hope they still do..

Sry tht i have to emo so randomly..

But really need the angel wings soon..

Kk.

Shall not blog le just in case shir still can hear my typing..

I shall play my iphone instead lol

love ya~

2011-02-15T23:05:00.002+08:00

Hey,

Blogging again..

Was celebrating Hazel's bday just now HAHA

It was super fun man..

When Hazel went to bathe,

Me, Shir and ChiewYee pasted on her wall

We lit a cake in the middle of her room and off the lights too

Haha

Surprised her when she came in after bathing =)

I could tell tht she rlly liked it si

SUCCESSFUL EVENT!

It rlly brought up my mood..

Was super sad cuz of my cough initially

Went to see the doc just now..

Apparently, I'm still on my fever roll

Tht explains the bad cough

And I gt another 2 days of MC

Ytd was valentine's day!!

For some of my hall mates,

I made choc apples!!!

Coated the fuji apples I bought with choc.. =)

Making something like tht seemed so easy in my mind

But once I really got down to it..

It was super super lot of effort needed..

From the chosing, to melting, to the coating,

To the drying and wrapping..

Tons of work was needed bt as long as my friends were smiling,

I think it was all worth it =)

I gt cookies from my 2 acct buds! Khairil and Yumeng =)

They're super cute!

Sunflower frm Xinyi

Lollipop frm Velyn =)

Also,

My ultimate event!!

So glad it was successful!!!

I lighted up a small path with candles,

And danced my chingay songs + bonamana for Shir!!!

I hoped she liked it..

Was going to do the event at our hall's balcony bt failed cuz there was a couple bbq-ing there..

It was kinda awkward when I entered.. haha

Used ADM in the end

The previous day,

Had hall valentine's celebration..

Was super sick with fever but completed my sing n strum performance!!!

I was playing the keyboard!!

Super fun man..

Though I pressed a few wrong notes,

Shir said they werent very audible so things went well..

Then it was the revelation of angel and mortal..

My mortal wasnt there cuz he had something on..

But,

My angel was there..

Turns out that my angel is my hall buddy's sp previously

haha

He seems nice frm his letters though =)

But the revelation was kinda awkward..

He passed me a balloon flower and as he was my angel.

End. LOL

But cuz I gave him a choc apple for valentine's

I'm glad he gt my number and msg-ed me to thank me haha

My mortal,

One that I wrote alot to..

I think because there was (to me at least), some form of emotional connection,

So there was alot of nervousness and excitment..

But in the end things were kinda weird though..

Gave him an apple personally..

It was the first thing I saw him face to face..

But it was kinda awkward and he didnt say much..

It was like just passing the apple and bye mortal feel..

Because there was a connection,

There's disappointment too that he didnt further contact me..

And perhaps cuz he's quite close to qiao er,

Which meant a more easier way to connect,

The fact that he didnt made me kinda disappointed..

Well,

It's over and time to move on HAHA

I've to rest lot so that I'll be in shape for my dance recital rehearsal

Kk..

Gtg le

Love ya~

2011-02-01T18:04:00.002+08:00

Hey blogging again..

2mr's CNY

And I'm supposed to be in my cny mode

2dae's a happy day but I have no idea why am I feeling so down..

Is it the weather?

The weather that dampens the happy mode..

When everything quietens down,

When all the noise disappear,

I realised,

Just like from the beginning,

I am alone.

Shir's at cheer,

And I'm in hall alone again.

This silence, though peacefully,

Is not one that I desire.

Though I've friends,

But I know that they cant be consistently around me,

That I cant bother them too much with my nonsense.

But just for today,

I really dont want to be alone.

The feeling of being so sad without knowing the reason,

Is just so sad..

At least I'm having dinner with my neighbours..

I thought going with them too often might be awkward just in case we run out of topics to talk about..

But just for now,

I really dont want to be left alone.

The feeling's terrible.

Later will be going down for sing and strum..

My role this time would be playing the piano..

I really have no confidence man..

Even though everyone tells me I can do it,

I really think I cant...

Facing things that I want to do really well,

I am afraid,

But I'm just going to have to be strong,

Again,

I pray for strength,

The strength to face all coming my way,

The strength to face all sincerely,

The strength to accept new surroundings,

The strength to be strong without my angel wings.

This loneliness will disappear soon I hope,

Will all my busy-ing days coming soon,

Chingay, Valentine's day hall performance, Schoolwork, Canvassing during valentine's day

And last but not least,

My mini event to show appreciation

At least,

I will not be alone right?

Gtg

Love ya~

2011-01-29T23:45:00.004+08:00

Hey,

Blogging again..

Tired

And feeling damn sian

Had a long long day today..

From chingay, to jap and to boardwalk performance..

Still pissed frm the boardwalk performance man..

The person infront of me DAMN IRRITATING la

Keep pushing me back, until i rlly gt no space to dance..

Super irritating..

And she keep getting steps wrong = disrupt my steps and poses
DAMN it

But asides from tht,

It was fun..

A cool performance dancing in the rain..

At least, a stage for me to enjoy and bask in

Jap lesson today was damn fun..

Considering finally being able to see all my friends...

Kept switching lessons the prev wks cuz of chingay..

To be around ppl tht u like,

Makes all the difference,

No faking of smiles,

No needing to act nice,

Just being myself,

And it feels so comfortable..

Chingay was fun but tiring..

I think my body's hitting it's max..

Too exhausted and tired man..

This wk other than tues, it has been crazy man..

Dance, dance, dance

Luckily there's a break nxt wk if nt i probably might faint..

But even if there's a fainting,

It would be one will a smile..

Enjoying myself to the max,

I doubt I'm going to experience this anytime soon..

After all this have ended,

I'm back to where I've started frm..

The shit pile of books, studying something i dont even think i like

Was during OB class this wk (Organisation behaviour and design)

In which I realised,

That whatever I am doing now had no link with passion..

For tht instance,

I seriously felt lyk quitting NBS..

Just going somewhere else like science or mass com..

I realised tht I'm only here because of situational factors,

Because I dont want to disappoint.

Because I lack the courage to insist my way through

Because I'm weak

I hope to gain strength,

To be stronger

To be able to accept failure

To be able to stand up to disappointment

To be able to recover from hurt

Wanting to study Mass Com,

To give it a shot whether it really is my dream..

Or study psychology

To learn more about myself,

To find my identity

Dancing

A way,

For me to gain more confidence,

For me to distract myself from school life

For me to enjoy myself in that one moment when I'm on stage

Went for CAC gathering the other day,

I was so glad I decided to go.

Even for just one moment,

Let me enjoy the feeling of having friends around,

Let me enjoy the feeling of being cared for,

Let me enjoy the feeling of being acknowledged somehow.

Let me bask in the new year atmosphere..

Going home with a friend was not as bad as expected.

I think things started becoming alittle awkward cause of the usual shit stirring LOL

But I'm so glad,

That our initial silence was not awkward but peaceful.

It was more of comfortableness coupled with tinges of nervoursness,

But I'm really happy tht I didnt feel awkward,

And I hope he did not too.

It's nice,

To know that I'm not the only one finding topics to talk about,

To warm up the atmosphere.

The result wasnt bad either.

An interesting memory that I certainly will keep

I'm tired.

Both mentally and physically,

And I need my angel to lend me wings,

To let me fly to some unknown place to rest.

Have more to say but I'm damn tired

Nida slp le..

Kk..

Nite

Love ya~

2011-01-27T10:50:00.002+08:00

Hey,

Blogging again

Have been super busy recently...

Doing add drop and settling gss and all..

GSS!

I really want to go for GSS!

Not great singapore sale but global summer studies!

Wanna go for the Jap exchange program..

Super fun, 1mth plus and cheap man..

Cuz it's exchange...

But only have 10 placings and the whole school's competing for it =(((

The alternative would b hongkong fee paying gss..

More ex but shd get a slot though..

JAP~ =(

Ytd went for training for dance event at Sentosa boardwalk,

Do come down to support Chun's choreography ya?

My first open event.. Damn cool man haha

Next would be Chingay!

But you probably wont recognise me cuz the makeup is so alien like LOL

These weeks have been damn busy with all the trainings,

And sch has finally started..

Another sem with all the projects and assignments shit

Later having OB seminar alone man..

1st lesson tht i'll be alone cuz swop slots frm wed to thurs..

Hope everything will turn out fine..

Later's gg to be so tiring man..

12.30-6.30 and then chingay prac..

Will be so so exhausted..

So give me ur strength ya?

Need all I can get!

At least, life would be much more busy so tht I wont think too much,

So tht even if I'm lonely, I wont feel it much..

Didnt complete last year's new year resolution,

but at least

I've passed my piano,

Gt excellent results (to me at least)

Went to taiwan

Became someone more stronger and thoughtful (to myself at least HAHA)

But this year,

I've to grow stronger even more,

I've to be more caring and warm to people around me

I've to practice harder so that I can shine on stage

I've to study harder so that I dont fall short of expectations

I've to put more effort into caring for all who's important to me,

Even though I probably cannot make much difference,

I still hope, even for a second, they will smile because I'm around =)

Luckily I'm busy for evenings and nights if nt i'll be alone in hall,

Cuz shir has cheer, went over to talk with neighbours ytd

Was so fun and at least I'm nt alone =)

Next wk's chinese new year!!

I miss meeting up with relatives and eating nice food..

Miss meeting up with friends too,

And for this few weeks have been too busy to meet up

I'll be missing my Snw com's gathering on fri to sat cuz of my stage run and chingay nxt morn..

If i go will be damn tired.. =(

Asides the tons of stuff I've to do,

I'm busy planning for my mini event too..

1st time choreographing my own moves for my event..

I hope it succeeds man!! =)

Nida spent more time practicing so tht I can make an impact when I'm on stage!!

Kk..

Gtg le..

Nida prepare for my day! BB

and love ya~

2011-01-19T23:40:00.003+08:00

Hey,

blogging again..

Havent blog for a long long time le..

Uni starting soon..

SIAN

Results came out recently..

I was like damn damn scared man..

But thank god it was ok..

And shir, wq and yl did ok too..

I'm so damn relieved man..

But my 2 acct buddies didnt do so well..

Gg to work so much harder next sem with them

I'm like rlly so tired..

Frm the continuous gg out...

At least I made full use of my holidays..

Taiwan was damn fun..

Considering someone who was super deprived frm enjoyment during the terrible sem..

At least nxt sem would be so much better..

Hope I can get the same elect as shir them,

so tht i'll hv close frens with me

I rlly need friendship in uni

HAHA

Too many acquaintances is tiring me out

All the fake smiles and attitudes

-.-

Went to uziel's chalet last wk

And it was damn fun!

Quoting my senior

"You guys damn funny sia, half a year never meet le then during chalet like best friends LOL"

I rlly love uziel alot man..

It made me feel tht I still have ppl I could trust in uni

Ppl tht bring out my genuine smile

During the chalet, I felt lots of love ^^

I'm so glad I went for the CAC camp! =)

Chingay chingay chingay,

It's fun but it's super physically demanding man

I think I'm rlly gg to get abs faster thn shir HAHA

kidding..

Will be in the PAYM dance contingent,

But dont bother spotting me,

Hard to see de LOL

Will be dancing for the opening of sentosa boardwalk too,

Flash mob haha!

Do drop by if you are bored,

The dance formation's quite cool..

Went for prac just nw,

Was at sentosa golf club place..

Damn pretty man!!!

It is these times,

When I'm tired or alone,

In which I want to lean on you.

The one which was so precious to me,

The one which I never wanted to let go,

The one which I have like for 9 years and I still do now,

The one which I have chosen not to find out more through facebook,

Because you are someone very important to me and if I wanted to know how you were doing,

I'll want to gather my courage to ask you face to face.

The reason I probably couldnt find someone I liked,

Because there is not one person that I liked more than how much I liked you

But you probably dont remember me.

You will never know the pain of me being infront of you and you have no idea that's me.

The usual saturday gang,

No time to meet them

No time to stone and chill

I'm tired

kk gtg le

love ya~

2010-11-17T20:42:00.002+08:00

Hey,

Blogging again..

After a long long time..

Uni has been bad..

The work load's terrible,

The stress's terrible,

The projects' terrible TOO

Oh man

Too many things to do,

And rlly no time..

Last week was tiring but fun cuz i was studying jap thru..

Even though I started my gruelling 5 hours slp only intense training,

It was still joyful as I was studying something I like..

Something I studied for the sake of interest..

For myself..

It was tiring and mentally exhausting but nevertheless,

It was fun..

Had jap exam the whole weekend plus mon too..

When it ends and everything is back to reality..

It sucks,

Really sucks ttm..

I really dislike my life now..

Ytd night was fun!!!

Went to science centre's movie marathon with mum and dad..

At least a break from all the crap..

And ate food that I loved!!

Satay and Sushi..

Iron man 2's fantastic man..

Transformer's was not too bad too..

Whole of 2dae was preparing for presentation man

Study, study and study more..

Just like that,

My hari raya's gone

I hope 2mr will be a better day.

And I'll gain courage to live my live happily.

Bb..

Love ya~

2010-10-29T11:46:00.003+08:00

Hey blogging again,

This week has been so busy..

And I thought would be able to play during the weekend..

Apparently not,

Another bigger test nxt mon..

Shit man..

I'm feeling so so so exhausted..

So must tuts to do, tests to study for, proj discussions to attend..

I'm tired..

Rlly rlly tired..

Somehow, it has transformed..

From a situation in which aft the busy wk,

Would be able to break and rest,

To one that will nvr end..

It's just a matter of getting used to it..

Having to continually try to keep up..

To everything..

The pace will nvr end,

It will just get worse..

I need all the energy I can get,

All the strength to contd pushing..

All the happiness in the world to contra my sadness..

I'm exhausted.

Financial Mgmt test this wk was bad..

Super hard man..

Esp the MCQ

Oh man,

And Desmond found it easy..

Me, Khairil and Benedict were feeling so sad frm that test..

Haiz..

Another heavy weightage acct test coming SIAN

Ytd was super sad..

Sad TTM man

Went to Can A with shir to eat frm the indo stall..

It's damn nice man..

Aft eating, I was feeling a whole lot better,

Was preparing our small halloween event the whole evening..

Getting to know neighbours..

At least the joy and thankfulness in their smiles brought me momentary joy..

I rlly need something happy to happen now man..

To neutralize my sadness,

To take away all the stress..

I think it's the need to want to rely on someone..

Missing my brothers at times like this..

The empty-ness is drawing me near to one..

His aura consists tht of the brother I miss so so much..

I'm falling, falling into his charms..

Stop appearing infront of me so often man,

Cuz the more I see him, the more I'm remind of my brother..

The more, I must admit, I'll like him.

I'll avoid,

My mind has much things it must contain..

Certainly no room for anything else.

I'm so tired.

Give me courage, my angel

Love ya~

2010-10-04T22:24:00.004+08:00

Hey,
Blogging again..

It's alone time again...
Same story..
Shir's nt in hall,
And I'm here alone...

Haha
But today not so emo..
And guess y?
Not cuz things are getting better..
Is tht I'm TOO BUSY to emo..

This week is a busy week man..
Nida prepare for social and welfare com meeting..
AA101acct presentation..
Acct quiz..
And possibly audition for my hall's jam band..

Furthermore, JYJ prebooking tix just kinda ended..
So it was a mad rush just now..
Managed to help ade get one cat c though..
My cat a's with kai ting!!!
At least something to look forward nearing to Recess week..
I really need something to take my mind off all the reports and projects due aft recess wk!!

Friends.
A word that I use but hardly mean it in Uni.
Have yet to find anyone that I really can connect to.
People that I really want to be nice to.
Those people that I see along the way and I genuinely light up are those from my jj clique or that of secondary school friends...
Perhaps the closest to that would be my cac friends..
But i hardly see them round campus..

Kk.. Shant go on further,
I have lots to do,

To my dearest army friends,
Do take care ya?

The unique F.I.R, we'll meet sometime soon ya?
The physical instructor in training, please do take much much care.
Bombas, we have to go out and chill someday man.
Bus friends outing must continue~
The norm sat party must carry on..
Admins, dont die of boredom during army k, feel free to msg me so tht I can relieve ur boredom by sharing my burden with you HAHA
And many many more.

My friends,
We must meet up and stone man.

Gtg le,
Bb
Love ya~

2010-09-27T19:47:00.004+08:00

Hey, blogging again..

Time to emo in hall again..
Shir's nt ard 2dae..
Everything has been much quiet.

Quizzes, tutorials, reports n projects are piling..
Feeling the heat,
But not any strength to pull through..

At times like that,
I think alot.

I think about how he is doing now.
Whether he is doing fine in army.
Did he made it into OCS?
Or SCS?
Whether he has someone nice to accompany him,
Or if he is like me,
Alone when everything dies down.
If even once in these 7 years,
Have he thought of me.
Have he missed me.

I think about how my dearest friends are doing in army.
Whether they are going through pain,
Whether they have made good friends,
Whether they can hold it out till the end.
If they have proper meals,
If their training are humane,
If they are healthy.

I think about fellow friends in NUS,
If they are coping well,
If they have seen the superficial of people,
If they are hurt in the process.

I think about my family,
Whether they are eating well,
Whether they are healthy,
Whether they are happy.

I think about my Samuel that has suffered much in hostel.
On the brink of death.
I had to leave him at home as it would be more detrimental is he came to hall with me.
I think about him having to go through his last few days alone.
I think about the days I have to go through without him by my side first time in 5 years.
I am so sorry dear.

I didnt make it through Modern Jazz Auditions,
Even though I want to make up excuses for myself,
I have to admit at the end of the day that I am not good enough.
But I gave it my all,
I really did.
Passion alone wasnt enough.

Depressed,
Demoralised,
I'm feeling it all now.
Not even my new specs can make me happy now.

My angel will appear soon right?
I pray.

Kk
Gtg le..
Love ya~

2010-08-28T11:03:00.002+08:00

Hey,
Blogging again..

After a long long long time..
And yeah,
Uni's starting soon..
Back to studying and all..

Many things happened,
Went to 2 camps,
Volunteered in YOG.
Super cool experience man..

But I'm tired.
Throughly exhausted.

Hall camp didnt go very well,
Hence the "not looking forward" to hostel life..
I'll be staying with SHIRLEY though!
New phase of life..

YOG volunteering was fun..
Talked to some of the athletes..
Super cool man..
LOL
Met many cool volunteers..
Those tht rlly gave their all,
Those tht shined with sincerity.
I saw one at training.
A familiar feeling.
Resemblance to someone special to me and to my bro too.
An unexplainable attraction to want to get to know him more.
Was so so so long since I felt this way.
Haha
But the connection will be broken though..
Since YOG ended and all.
For my sake, I'll be putting in some effort.
It was fun while it lasted.
I'm like so looking forward to the 16th!!!
The final gathering.
USS, here I come!!!
Wahaha~~~

Gtg le..
I shall watch spongebob now
love ya~

2010-06-28T10:52:00.000+08:00

Hey,
Blogging from work..

Too many things to do,
Too many datelines to meet..
I’m sad..

Finding out that you are excluded from certain events,
Finding out that you no longer belong in the group,
Finding out that you most probably will grow distant with a good friend soon,
Finding out that many things aren’t the same anymore,
Is sad =(

I didn’t want things to end up this way.

Finally feeling the pressure frm everything..
So many things to do,
So little time..

No time for piano,
No time for dance,
No time for jap,
No time for meet-ups,
No time to slack.

Just ignore me,
I’m brown off with work.
I’m emo-ing at work.
Just let me disappear.
~

Someone please ask me out to distract me…

2010-06-03T16:45:00.001+08:00

Hey,
Blogging again..
After a long long time..

Mixed feelings currently..
Was in a happy mood before I read those reports...
What's happening to the world now?
Take a look ya?

Woman stabs nine in China train rampage: report
http://sg.news.yahoo.com/afp/20100602/tap-china-crime-stabbing-train-8d4ea94.html

Briton 'warned of rampage' before shooting 12 dead
http://sg.news.yahoo.com/afp/20100602/twl-britain-crime-0ccf4b6.html

One closer to home..

MYSTERY KNIFE ATTACK KILLS ONE, INJURES THREE OTHERS
http://sg.yfittopostblog.com/2010/05/30/man-found-dead-along-kallang-road/

Oh my..
How can this happen..
Seriously..
Even though I am not in a position to say anything,
I can rlly just carry on with my happy mood..
Sincere condolences for those involved..
=(

I shall not blog about my happy things.
To just slightly mourn and appreciate all those ard me..
Even for just this moment.

2010-05-04T21:42:00.002+08:00

Hey,
Blogging again..

This time to rant..
Because again,
I feel so sad...

It almost seems on purpose what they are doing to hurt me..
The trip that I have planned so merticulously,
The trip that I have put in alot of effort and time,
The trip that I look forward to for so long.
Is nothing but a blank.
Which means nothing to them.
I didnt insist on it not because I dont want to go anymore.
NOT because I dont mind at all..
It's because I dont want to trouble everyone by forcing it on all.

But why all are of you hurting me like that.
The trip that you all want to go,
Suddenly is mentioned,
Suddenly is planned,
Suddenly is confirmed.

Why must you make it obvious that no one cares about what I said?
That from the start no one was taking me seriously?
That from the start it was just me who thought that the promise would be fulfilled.
I know that this trip is probably one that is supposed to give me comfort.
But why am I feeling nothing but pain?

I want to say I hate all of you but I cant.
Because all this is all my fault.
My fault for believing.
My fault for not being able to take things in my stride.
My fault for being weak.

It's hurting.
It's hurting alot.
I was already in a bad mood cuz of work.
Why are you doing this to me?
Lao mu,
Please call me back soon to discuss bout dinner 2mr...
I really dont want to be left alone.

Dear god,
Please send an angel down.
To take my pain away.

Love ya~

2010-04-29T10:54:00.016+08:00

Hey, blogging again..

Also from work this time..

This week has been fun but painful?

Terrorized by ulcers..

Argh!!!

Last sat was 1st jap test ever..

Thought usually first tests were the most easy tests..

But ya, I was wrong..

The test was quite tough..

Hope I'll do well..

Haha

When to nihon mura with marisa for sushi dinner after that..

Was fun..

The sushi's super nice =)

Mon was very fun too..

Has dinner with my dance class mates..

My teacher treated us to steamboat!

Usually during class there was nt much talking cuz it was straight into lesson..

So it was during the dinner that we got to know each other..

About each other's current life and past experiences..

It was rlly interesting..

The first dinner ever with friends that I remained quiet most of the time..

Even though I didn’t talk much,

I'm surprised that I didn’t feel bored at all…

Just by listening to whatever they say,

I feel just as involved..

And my dance mates and rlly very nice ppl..

I dunno how to explain it but I could feel that they are very sincere..

This was the first time that I felt their personalities and their hearts…

However,

I still find it a wonder how they manage to know me despite the fact that I didn’t talk much..

Sheryl said I was a nice person ^^

Lumeng, A good listener…

Happy~~

The atmosphere was very heartwarming even if we didn’t do much..

We went bugis street after that,

Chun bought a shirt similar to mine..

Haha..

And the whole street's filled with shirts that are similar to mine..

LOL

It was not long ago,

Which I encountered my own identity crisis,

My personality dilemma..

I felt almost schizophrenic,

Like how behave is so different with different group of friends..

I'm nt talking bout slight differences,

But that of drastic ones.

I've finally come to terms with myself..

That's just how I am,

That's how I react to diff groups of ppl,

I choose the way I feel most comfortable in..

It might me very different,

Nevertheless,

It's me.

Tues,

Aftermath of eating ma la huo guo when I already have minor ulcers..

Deteriorated.

Went to watch Shutter Island with bombas..

At first really didn’t liked the ending..

But after searching reviews and getting a deeper understanding of the movie..

It really seems like a great movie,

Though I hope the ending was diff..

Wed and thurs peaked..

Ulcer's reigning supreme now

T.T

I can hardly talk nor eat..

Had to avoid colleagues cuz talking is too unbearable…

Had to send emails instead =(

Hope I'm cured soon enough..

Waiting for NUS acceptance letter..

2 friends gt into to phar le..

Hope I still stand a chance?

Actually Acct's fine too..

But perhaps a choice is preferred.

Argh!

Blogger's very irritating..

Does show my content in paragraph..

My blanks get auto deleted have to code in colour de..

Kk..

Gtg le..

Love ya~

2010-04-23T07:43:00.003+08:00

Hey,
Blogging again..

Had lunch with huan yesterday..
At least it lifted my sad mood...

However,
It's back 2dae...
I hate myself,
For being weak,
For desperately holding onto false hopes,
For not being able to control my emotions well.
Slightly editted,
" Disappoint me once, Shame on you.
Disappoint me twice, Shame on ME."
I blame no one,
But myself.
For not being able to accept this,
For still wanting to believe when I never should have in the first place,
For allowing myself to be so sad.

Give me some time..
Perhaps about a week or two to let me digest the fact.
That I am not going anywhere.
That I should never have even attempted to ask for a promise.
That I should never believe anymore.
No,
Maybe I need more time cuz I'm still too weak.
I really feel so sad now.
If this sadness were to transform into water,
Everyone would probably drown.
I need to wake up now.

I WILL BE STAYING HERE.
RIGHT HERE IN SINGAPORE.

Kk..
Gtg..
A new day of work awaits..
Hey ppl,
Talk to me ya?
Distract me frm my sea of depression,
Which engulfed me, my ring and my hope.
Love ya~

2010-04-22T08:18:00.003+08:00

Hey,
Blogging again...

Frm office too...
Sad
Sad
Sad

I lost my ring.
I've looked all over the office and asked the cleaners too..
Cant find it
=(
=(
=(
I'm so so so so so so so sry..

Read morning newspaper,
Many ads about taiwan trips
I'm nt going to taiwan anytime soon
=( T.T
Sad.

2dae has been a sad day.
Hope things get better.
Boo.. =(

Kk..
Starting work soon
bb
Love ya~

2010-04-20T18:17:00.000+08:00

Hey,

Blogging now..

And guess where?

Frm work..

Listening to 2pm’s newest album..

Nt bad ^^

Started work last tues..

At IBP there..

Pay’s gd, Ppl there’s gd and location’s nt too bad either…

My job scope is becoming increasingly interesting..

And I’m learn a lot too..

I’m liking my new job more and more everyday..

Lessons have finally ended…

I hope my instructor chooses to continue..

It has been super fun..

I really look forward to every week..

Learning new choreo etc..

Last week’s training was great!

Chun said I improved =)

At least the practicing did pay off..

Esp this time,

She looked for me after class to tell me that ^^

This wk wasn’t so gd..

Reached studio when it was pouring..

Luckily I wasn’t late..

Caught the same lift as Chun..

It was then when she told me that day was last lesson…

I didnt do very well..

Got some of the steps confused at the back even in final recording..

Argh..

I’m so nt pleased…

Gt a fellow classmate to help me record during my grp’s term..

After looking back..

I really did improve much..

Compared to the stiff block of wood..

Haha..

Really hope this continues~

Kk..

Gtg le..

Gt work to do.. haha

Love ya~

2010-04-07T23:42:00.002+08:00

Hey,
Blogging again..

This few days have been fun?
Haha..
Slacking throughout..
Havent got tired of it yet..
But soon I guess..

Have been searching for jobs too..
Together with the waiting of uni acceptance letter..
It's really the slacking time that calms the nerves..
To prevent the angst from building up...

Watching American Idol now..
And I totally love it..

Argh..
Blisters on my legs..
From the practicing 2dae..
Oh man.
I have to stop trying too hard..
Fire~

Kk..
Gtg le..
Love ya~

2010-04-01T21:30:00.003+08:00

Hey,
Blogging again..

The 2nd wave of frustration has ended..
The scholarship applications..
I really need to improve myself.
Really need to pull myself out of self pity.
Feeling that I'm always nt good enough.
Sigh.
Please dont make me go through all the appealing stuff.
Please let me keep that least amount of pride ya?
I dont want to experience the same angst ever.

I want to change.
To someone that's warmer.
To someone that's nicer.
To someone that's stronger.
I need to and have to be stronger.
To prevent myself from being hurt again.

I'm stopping.
Ceasing all my research for the trip.
It took me a long time,
But at least now I'm starting to accept it.
To accept that it's not going to happen.
Everytime I start to hope,
Start to anticipate,
I'll face immense disappointment.
I really dont want that to happen anymore.
So please,
If you are not going to do it,
Dont promise me.
At the most, reject me and
Let me be angry,
Let me vent my frustrations awhile,
But dont give me false hope.
I really cannot afford to lose more hope than I already did.

I'm trying so hard.
To not anticipate anymore.
I hope that one day,
I'll be able to do every single thing without anticipation for any return.
To do the things that I do,
Because I care,
And not because I hope that one day you'll do that for me.
Shan told me: I'll definitely like it cause it's something you got for me.
It's that type of warmth that I'm thankful for.
And it'll give me strength to attain my goal.
Time,
It's all that I need.

Saw big bro last week..
I'm glad I'm nt forgotten.
Your smile still warms my heart.
Thanks.

Kk..
Gtg..
Bb
Love ya~

2010-03-22T00:23:00.004+08:00

Hey,
Blogging again...

Envy, envy, envy..
Lao mu's in taiwan now!
Haha

Finished application.
Settled uni choices and such...
Feeling so much relaxed..
To all that have given me valuable advice,
Thanks so much.
I needed them to move on.
Special thanks to dad and mum,
For helping me and accepting my decision.
My much confused mind has brought about unnecessary trouble.

To one,
I'm so sorry I was busy on that day.
Busy with all the planning..
I didnt mean to do that.
My apologies.
I promise you,
This year,
I'll make it up to you by doing a fabulous celebration this year.

Argh.
I need to find a job soon.
But for now,
Let me enjoy my peace and quiet.
Let me drown in my shows and games.
LOL.
Kk.
Gtg le..
Bb
Love ya~

2010-03-16T22:18:00.004+08:00

Hey,
Blogging again..

Took me an awfully long time..
But ya,
Everything's back to normal...

This weekend was super busy..
The openhouses and all..
Everything's so amazing..
I'm seriously going to be an undergrad..
I cant really believe it..
However,
The crucial dilemma surfaces...
Wad am I going to study?
Wad am I going to do for the rest of my life.

I wonder how one does it.
It appears as though I am allowed to choose anything I want to.
But everytime I offer a fringer alternative,
There's no blood, There's no knife,
But there's pain..
Lingering on making me unable to breathe.
I am so tired.
Despite, all these,
I still have to give thanks.
Thanks for clearing up my much confused mind.
Although, it comes with a price not that small,
I'm still thankful.

I feel sad.
Cuz I know everything I'm experiencing now is no more than a fascade.
I know that everything would be different if I didnt get what i got.
It pains me to know that.
It really does.
Dont bask in my glory.
Please dont.
All the moments of distrust,
All the moments of complaining,
All the moments of scorning.
You didnt even believe in me.
So please dont make me laugh.
You might say you did.
But I did not feel it.
Not even for a second.

" I have not taught if my students said that they have not learnt. "

Went to open house with bombas on saturday..
NTU is such a pretty school..
Haha..
It was fun,
Being able to discuss together just like old times,
Being able to complain to them and getting those ew expressions,
Being able to still be around them,
Every moment of it,
Was so important to me.
Initially went alone,
I was deserted.
I dont really wanna talk about it.

NUS on day 2,
Went with lao mu..
It was freebies day..
Haha
It was sad,
Being told to go back to prepare discretionary admission,
Went I felt that I did ok.
It's really sad.
It took me a long long while to accept that as well,
But fine. (cooly)
If that's really the case,
I'll accept it and move on.
One day,
You will regret not taking me LOL

Anyway,
Saw many old friends during the open house..
Some recognised me,
I'm amazed.

I saw a friend.
And he looks exactly the same as before.
The familiar face, that warmth that I yearned so much last time.
The liking, however, has faded much throughout the year.
It has been a long long time since I experienced similiar adrenaline rushes.
The memories still do occasionally give me courage.

I think I've changed slightly,
From always avoiding the camera during training,
To feeling sad that I was blocked at times.
I will try hard so that one day,
I'll be able to shine on stage comfortably.

Kk..
Gtg le..
Love ya~ bb

2010-02-21T22:35:00.003+08:00

Hey,
Blogging again...

This week has been a reunion week?

Went mahjonging with dg on wed..
It has been some time since we chatted like this..
The ease really makes me treasure every moment of it..
However,
There's still the impending thought,
That this will be the last as they are enlisting soon..
Will everything change with time?
I'm so afraid it will..
But that's a given...

Out on friday with lao mu..
Went to city square mall!
Singapore's first eco mall..
Haha..
Bt it's kinda empty?
Sauntering around with relaxed feelings..
The peace was amazing...

Jap lesson on sat..
A compliment?
Marisa said I looked nice..
Well,
I was happy as there was a CNY reunion dinner afterwards and I wanted to look nice
Haha
Werner talked to me too!
Lol.. I'm just glad that he did.
I dont want to be forgotten.
I really dont.

CNY dinner with relatives was great..
This was one of the best dinners?
Mainly because people I liked were there,
People I didnt werent there..
Well, kinda.. Nt all though...
Gt angpao from a cousin!
Haha..
The first one to get married..
The buffet dinner was fantastic..
Wahaha..
But it was the company that I liked the most..
The stories shared,
The laughter ringing down the halls...
The only 'regret' was that we did take a picture together..
The memory will fade one day,
But it's the pics that keep them anchored..
The ability of transforming the instantaneous into eternity..

I found out that I really enjoyed the presence of one.
To just know that he's there,
To be in his company,
To see him smile,
To laugh together,
To see him waving just at me,
To not understand weird topics together..
Perhaps I really like the feeling of having an elder brother...
I hope,
I'm not just a random someone that pops out at gatherings,
I want to be known,
For being me.

The fear of knowing that good is greater than the bad,
As it is the disappointment that will hurt you more.
I dont want to know I guess.
The warm feeling that I can no longer obtain at home.
The scar's consistent reopening.
The yearning just keeps building up.
Every moment spent with people I like just keeps feeling sad.

Sc gathering at Mr lee's house was fun too..
But I've had bad luck this year..
Lost pretty much..
Haha..
But it was fun though..
The chatting with seniors,
The sight of everyone being together,
To know that we have not become invisible to the rest yet.
It's a blessing.

Kk..
I gtg le..
Bb..
Love ya~

2010-02-16T21:48:00.003+08:00

Hey,
Blogging again..

Happy CNY to all..
Stay happy and healthy ya?

Much more relaxed now..
With the burden of work gone..
My shoulders seem so at ease..
However,
A new challenge,
A new task awaits me..
And I'll have to give it my all...
GP here I come~

Friendship day was fun?
I gave out many...
It took me a long time,
Before I decided to give one out..
One that I could not accept a long time ago..
I'm glad I did this year..
Pretty isnt it?

CNY was ok?
Went to grandparent's house as usual..
But also to a more distant relative house..
Met a JJcian there too..
Funny how I've never seen that cousin of mine in my 2 years..
No "fate" perhaps?

Me and sis

CNY day 2 was a TV-ing day..
Cousins went to my house at night..
It was the first time we managed to play so well?
Cuz I finally were able to understand them..
Haha..
Well, they learnt to speak?

Went visiting on CNY day 3,
To Shir, Wan qin and Yan lin's house..
Ate sushi lunch first..
Was so refreshing..
LOL..
Had alot of fun~
Sat in lorry too..
Some pics to share..

Shir, yl, me and wq

wq and shir on truck

yl and me on truck

Many thoughts whizzing through…
Jealous?
I don’t really think so..
More of the desire to want to do better,
To want to acquire one of my own…
Coupled with the belief that I do deserve this..
However,
A promise made..
If I ever do get one,
It has to be the best..
Either the best or nothing..
I will hold on

Kk.. gtg bb
Love ya~

2010-02-11T18:07:00.003+08:00

Hey,
Blogging again..

Finally,
My job ended..
Haha..

My life has slowly regained balance..
But I often wonder if this is really what I want..
I desk bound job with good pay ( to me)...
At a place in which I'm nt known as my name..
Bt rather the temp girl?
Anyway,
Special thanks to Doris and Eric for making me feel more at home..
Really..

Jap class last week was fun?
Things have been progressing fast and yup!
I'm absorbing haha
Finally realised why I took a special liking to Werner at first sight..
He looks like someone I respect and admire alot...
LOL
Best...

My training on mon,
Yay!
Teacher said I improved and praised me..
Wahaha..
At last,
After being a piece of wood for so so long..
Do I look stress and nervous usually?
Cuz Chun said I did and this earned me a hug..
Haha
I'm going to practice hard..
Yea man!

"Last christmas, I gave you my heart.
The very next day, you gave it away.
This christmas, to spare me from tears.
I'm giving it to someone special"
Not exactly but ya, I'm disappointed..
Gave sis a present that I picked carefully for a long long time,
So as to make sure she liked it..
I bought it with my first official pay?
Haha..
Bt she gave it to someone else..
Haiz..
3
2
1
Kk..
I think I'm fine now~
To hold true to my resolution..
I'm become a better and stronger person..
No longer shall I dwell on small things..
I can do it!
I just need somemore time..

The joy of giving,
I think I'm really experiencing it now..
In the past,
I usually expect some sort of return everytime..
As in more of like,
Hoping people would be as nice to me as how I am to them,
Hoping I'm as impt to them as how they are impt to me,
Hoping that they treasure me as much as how I treasure them..
But all these have changed..
Maybe because I' ve matured and learn to appreciate more,
Maybe because I've been disappointed so much till I dont really want to expect...
I dont expected anything in return anymore..
I do whatever I did because I wanted to see the smile..
The smile that will brighten up my day..
Prepared some stuffs this year too,
Even though I might not be able to see their expressions,
I'm happy because I know I could have made their day
=)

I missed my opportunity for my ideal internship due to low self esteem,
But now,
I shall trry again..
At least,
Even if I fail,
I know that,
I gave it my all..

CNY's coming..
WOOOOO good food and all..
Haha
To all,
Happy chinese new year~

Kk..
gtg le..
BB =)
Love ya~

2010-01-31T22:19:00.002+08:00

Hey,
Blogging again..

Am in a good mood now..
Listening to habenying now,
And it's playing my 2 favourite songs

Wedding dress by taeyang
I am a loner by C.N BLUE
Wooo~
I'm so going to buy their albums soon..

Another week of work commencing soon..
I dunno if i can still hold on..

That aside,
Maybe the fear of results is coming back,
As february approaches..
Together with the big question of what i want to do with the rest of my life..
Without direction,
Without courage find what I really want,
Without strength to put aside all restrictions.
I hope to be a stronger person.

Kk..
Gtg le..
Bb
Love ya~

2010-01-30T11:51:00.007+08:00

Hey,
Blogging again..

Another work week has passed by,
It's getting kinda unbearable..
Comparing thousands of figures...
EXCEL again...
Super sian man..
The neck aching,
The straining of eyes,
The freezing temperature,
The early waking..
Argh, I'm so damn tired..
I rlly want to stop doing this?
But since it's for my uncle,
I might just put it up alittle longer,
Till it reaches my limit.
Bt fyi, It's not far either.

My lessons.
I still seem like a piece of wood.
But a more malleable one?
LOL
Nevertheless,
I will not give up.
I'm bent on perfecting this.
Go go go~

Yesterday was the happiest day of the entire week?
No office work..
Haha..
Went for with shan training and earned 30 in bout an hour
Best..
Haha..
I was like having fun and getting paid at the same time!
WOOO!
We went for lunch and then shopping for new year clothes..
Super cheap man at bugis street..
Nice too...

Even though it has been tiring and all,
At least I regained balance..
No more aimlessly living..
A more secure and stable feel perhaps…

I’m glad.
At first I thought,
All these was a big mistake,
He didn’t pick me..
Waiting indiscriminately for a reply..
The immense lack of self esteem building up..
However,
I did not leave things to fate.
I gathered courage to ask for what I wanted instead of just waiting..
It was a relief,
I wasn’t forgotten,
All these can be attributed to the lousy message delivery system…

Again,
I did not accept the decision I was given,
I did not leave things to fate.
I did what I felt I had to do.
To obtain an opportunity for a friend,
And I succeeded.
I’m glad.

Another week awaits.
I’m nt sure if I’m ready for it..

Kk
Here are some pics to share from 4e1 gathering..

Lao mu arriving with the auntie feel..

Haha..

I cant help but to put it up..

Sry bombas haha

Billy's candid cam haha.. ley huen and alina..

best pic lol

Haha.. I wonder how did huan managed to capture this pic..

Me and partner facing diff directions

LOL

Mr ong, billy and me

Msua, me, reub, lao mu, fang and sooks

The pic was initially me and lao mu..

Bt it turned out this way? Haha

Me, lao mu, egg and billy..

Haha.. originally me, lao mu and billy. it turned out diff again?

class pic! =)

Kk.. gtg le.. bb

Love ya~

2010-01-24T21:37:00.003+08:00

Hey..
Blogging again..

One week of work has passed...
Even though there is alot of things to do,
I found it very boring..
And, my neck..
Poor neck..
Super aching man..
Haha..

The starting feel was weird..
I felt out of place,
Felt that the things I do were not impt,
Not of relevance...
Extra?
On fri,
The first time,
I felt wad I did was neccessary,
All thanks to Michelle.
The first friend I made at work?

On sat,
Went for jap lesson..
We learnt basic greetings,
And part of the exercise included making 2 new friends..
Haha..
I made 2 new friends?
Werner and Darren..
It was kinda scary and awkward though...
Cause it was like formally speaking jap for the first time..
Sumimasen,
Watashi wa gakusen desu.
Anata wa?
LOL man.
I think half of the time when we were speaking in jap,
I didnt look into Werner's eyes cuz I was busy trying to rmb what to say..
LOL.
Kinda embarassing though as I made a couple of mistakes..
Werner wanted to help my pointing them out,
But that made it even more weird for me..
Haha..
But not counted k?
Cuz he learnt previously le bt now join to recap...
So he's supposed to be better..

Went for class dinner after that,
We ate billy bombers...
Ex but I had a fun time man..

Changes.
Everybody's changing but I dont feel the same~
Keane song.
There are somethings I would rather choose not to know.
Is ignorance really bliss?
The distance has really handicapped me
I dont no how to react.
Haiz..

Kk..
Gtg le..
bb
Love ya~

2010-01-21T18:58:00.002+08:00

Hey...
Blogging again..

Balance?
Did I really find it?
At least I do not have to go thru,
A life not knowing my fate for the day.

Currently helping out at uncle's company.
To do admin stuff etc
Oh man,
I'm like practically doing,
EXCEL EXCEL and more EXCEL.
LOL.
Something new though,
A different and new experience.
Of office work.
And this makes me,
Ever more determined to make sure,
That I do not get stuck with this type of the job,
For the rest of my life.
LOL
It's not tough,
But kinda boring?
Tiring too..
Aw, my poor neck...
Doing in short term feels ok though..
Very office feel.
Haha...

At least something to look forward during lunch?
There's a cute guy working there...
Haha..
Bt it's kinda weird why he would want to work as a cleaner for part time..
Experiencing life?
LOL

I won an argument.
It was the first time I did so calmly..
And it really feels good.
Surprisingly,
I did not feel sad about the resulting estrange ties.
Even if I keep thinking bout it,
It's more with a curious and excited mind.
LOL.
An unexpected sigh of relief,
An unexpected breathe of freedom.
But,
I still need time to adapt to this new environment~

Yesterday,
An unexpected encounter.
My very first infatuation.
Haha.
I wanted to leave it all to fate,
But I found myself debating whether I do indeed,
Believe in fate.
The end result?
Destiny?
Tsk.

Received a msg,
A connection I did not want to break.
A connection that ended last year most unwillingly,
It's back.
The far and distant warmth,
Gave me strength to continue.
But I dont really want to wait for the reply anymore.
The expectations together with the incoming disappointment is scary.
Even if it was for a moment.

I felt happy.

Kk..
Gtg le..
BB
Love ya~

2010-01-11T19:01:00.004+08:00

Hey,
Blogging again..

Went singing with click 6 last week,
It was like a refreshing break,
After endless job searching.

It was fun.
As it was a long time since we gathered.
However,
With the burden of job finding.
Anyway, I really look forward to the next one.

Is it a coincidence?
Or is it just another way to get out of the situation?
I really hope it's the former.
I chose to believe.
To trust it you.

I will hold on.
I will perserve.
To train myself.
To be the brightest star in the sky.
For once,
I'm doing all I can to elevate myself.
I'm going to shine.

Kk..
Gtg le..
To all searching for jobs,
I understand that angst,
And I'll be cheering for you.
^^
Love ya~

2010-01-10T14:42:00.002+08:00

Hey,
Blogging again..

Days of job searching pass by,
The eagerness fades and the strength to continue falters...
The more expectations, the greater the disappointment...
Once again, I fail to keep anticipation low.

To cheer myself up,
I've been watching shows,
To release the angst cooped up inside.
But, only to get criticized for it.
Thanks man.

I think,
This period has been extremely emotional.
The avalanche of disappoiontment tumbles down.
Destroying and crippling,
The fragile esteem of mine.

I am so tired.
I'd rather study man. -.-
This period was supposed to be the most satisfying one for me,
But everything's turning out so differently than expected.

Please stop pouring cold water on me.
Please stop saying things I dont want to hear.
I am vexed enough and do not need your comments.

There's a shell I need to break.
A shadow I need to walk out from.
I want to be able to be want I really want to.
To be able to fly without contraints.
I found out that there are so many options,
That I did not even consider.
As I was often intimidated by the consequences if I ever chose so.
But, No longer do I want to be binded.

It'll be hard.
To break free.
To not care about what you think.
It'll will take time.
But I believe I will succeed one day.
Lest I get hurt again and again.

To some,
Thanks for your little considerations.
I have felt them and I know you are trying not to make me upset.
I'm so glad.
And I really appreciate it.

I hope all these will pass soon.
And I'll be able to find balance in my life.
And that I'll be able to relax and enjoy,
This period of my life before I find out,
What the future has in store for me.

Gtg..
Bb..
Love ya~

2010-01-05T21:31:00.007+08:00

Hey,
Blogging again...

This year end has been much fulfilling,
Much fun.

Helped out in SC bbq planning,
Me, huan and qing were in charge of deco,
We really had alot of fun discussing etc..
It really reminded me of the old sc days...
Us, working together, to get work done.

After that was class bbq,
Me and huan worked so hard to ensure that it was successful.
I'm glad it was! =)

After that,
Last outing with bombas and then,

Job scouting.
Frictional unemployed.
LOL

Countdown this year was with shan.
At Macs watching family outing.
Haha.
Not my ideal countdown.
But nevertheless, better than last year.

This starting of the new year,
I signed up for many stuff.
Wanting to push myself,
To my limit and beyond.
It's tiring and exhausting.
But I wont give up.
I will perfect it, until I shine.

Resolutions?
To not be afraid to do what I want.
To be a better friend to all.
To be a better family member.
To be more responsible and brave.
To be stronger.

To become a better person this year.

Finally,
Random photos.
=)

3rd HYSC annual meeting 09

Me and yan jie (3rd hysc 09 meet)

HYSC bbq 22/12/09

4e1'07 christmas bbq 23/12/09

Last bomba meeting of the year? LOL

Kk..
Gtg le..
Bb
Love ya~

2009-12-21T22:09:00.002+08:00

Hey..
Blogging again..

Have been busy with many stuff..
Sc and 4e1 bbq..
It has been so long since I found myself so comitted into doing something..
Perhaps it has been a long time,
Since I did something I really wanted to,
Something that I hoped it would be successful.
The feeling seems almost distant.

This christmas,
I hope everything would be fun.
And everyone would be able to enjoy themselves.

Experiencing this over and over again.
I really dont like this feeling.
I thought I knew but turns out,
I dont know anything about anyone.
Every single time,
When I feel that I did something well,
When I am pleased with myself,
Sooner or later,
Something would happen and I'm back to where I've started.
Right at zero.

All these seriously dampen my confidence level,
And often,
My self esteem reaches an all time low.
Everytime I'm unsure of myself,
I fall into an identity crisis.
Following it,
All the angst and mixed emotions.

Guess wad?
It's happening now.
Best.

Kk..
Gtg le..
Let me deal with my confused self.
Bb
Love ya~

Maybe,
That's the reason,
I need my angel so much.

2009-12-14T22:09:00.002+08:00

Hey,
Blogging again.

This time,
I had so much fun.
I have enjoyed so much more love than before.
Thanks for all that everyone have given me,
I enjoyed myself alot this year.

To all those that wished me,
That helped me celebrate,
That did not forget that day,
Thanks so much.
For that,
I feel so thankful and blessed.

Love ya~

2009-12-11T12:22:00.001+08:00

Hey..
Blogging again..

I was wrong.
I was seriously mistaken.
Thanks Shir, Yan lin and Wan Qin for my surprise.
I really appreciate it alot.
Thanks so much for everything.
Thanks for being my friends.

I shall blog more when I return

Love ya~

2009-12-10T19:33:00.002+08:00

Hey..
Blogging again..

Went to yan liang house to celebrate..
Here's wishing yan lin happy birthday!
Saw shir with short hair le..
Nt bad ya..

It's this time of the year again.
The time when the fear of being forgotten overwhelms me.
This is one that is very important to me,
And I dont want people to forget it.
I really dont.

Perhaps I was alittle disappointed today,
Disappointed that this was not taken seriously.
I would be lying if I said I did not care,
So I'm nt going to do that.
But I dont blame anyone,
Except myself and my expectations.
I'm someone who has very idealistic visions and wants.
However,
A friend that made my day.
Thanks for the card.
I really appreciate it and it really means alot to me.
Thanks =)

I realised something.
How naive and foolish of me to believe that.
To think that it was only me who have felt that.
I have woken up and I need to snap out of it.
To pull myself together.
Thanks for the short moment of happiness.

Kk..
Gtg le..
Love ya~

2009-12-09T21:02:00.007+08:00

Hey blogging..

These fews days have been heartwarming i guess..
It's only now in which I begin to feel my existence isnt invisibe...
That I'm being loved and respected..

I went to my grandparents place on sun..
Something which I didnt do for very long cuz of exams
The most memorable moment for me was when I saw my granddad's face lit up when he saw me..
As I'm nt rlly close with my grandparents,
I felt that really glad that my existence brought joy..
It was the first time I ever saw him smiled like that =)

The first time,
I felt that my parents wanted to make an effort to not make false promises..
To mean what they say.
And to give in to me.
I'm glad,
For I felt that they respected what I believed in. ^^

Prom was on mon..
I thought it would be boring but it was not..
I had so much fun =)

I meet up with wei cheng, eggs and george first before reaching..

Here are some random pics

Me and Char

Steve and his face exhibition

Abi, Xiong and Me

Me, Char and classmates

Form teacher with char, me and ying jie

After the event,
I heard many went clubbing..
And best thing is that,
I'm nt even 18 yet
HA

Den, wei cheng said,
Go la, I lend u my IC
BEST
When he's one day younger then me.
...
LOL

Me and wei cheng

Kk..
Gtg le..
love ya~

2009-12-03T22:04:00.003+08:00

Hey..
Blogging again..

A lvls are finally over!
I seriously cant believe it..

And guess wad?
The moon's super bright today..
LOL

2 Apologies to make

Firstly,
The harsh tone I used in my previous entry.
I will not take back what I have said,
But nevertheless,
I'm sorry.
I just do not like being looked down upon,
being compared with,
being told that I cannot do it.
I apologise for my fits of fury

Secondly,
For this,
I seriously do not know why I am apologising..
I really have no idea what I did wrong..

Argh..
Forget it,
Ignore me all you want.
I dont really care.

Kk..
Last thing,
The holidays are finally here?
Wishing all, Happy Holidays!!!

Love ya~

2009-12-02T19:20:00.003+08:00

Hey,
Blogging again..

I'm kinda in a bad mood..
So dun mind me ya?

Hear to share a good news,
My sis gt some edusave award thing.
=)
And,
Last paper for A lvls is 2mr!!!

Aside from that,
Perhaps just a few words to vent my frustrations?

From the moment you were disappointed in me,
You became someone I will never want to work hard for.
From the continuous breaking of promises I hold so dearly,
You became someone I will never want to believe in again.
From the moment you chose to put me down.
You became someone I was disappointed in.

Is there a need to keep repeating it?
Is there a need to keep rubbing it in my face?
Thanks for always focusing on my flaws,
When I needed a boost in morale.
Thanks for chiding me,
When I'm at my worst and was seriously in need of some support.

Dad.

2009-12-01T10:19:00.011+08:00

Hey, blogging again..

Went to storm warriors gala premiere yesterday..

Was very different frm wad I expected bt ok nevertheless..

Saw a mediacorp celebs like dai yang tian and lin xiang ping LOL

I felt that the show was great and the effects are stunning..

But,

The ending sucks. LOL

Anyway,

Here are some pics!

Light christmas tree at Vivo

The front of the cinema

The hordes of people -.-

Zeng Yi Jian and 1 of the directors i guess

Guo fu cheng

Their anticipated sword plunging event

The GV max entrance in which the celebs and big shots went in

Last but not least,

Me and Shir!

Kk..

GTG..

Nida study for bio le.

Love ya~

2009-11-29T22:50:00.002+08:00

Hey, blogging again..

Nothing much to say this round
But just

To a friend,

Happy birthday.

Love ya~ bb

2009-11-28T18:44:00.003+08:00

Hey, blogging again after on hiatus for so long..

Was on a drama marathon after monday..

A lvls are almost over and I cant really believe it man..
2 years of hardwork being determined by just this paper..
But ya, I think I have matured much,
Though not alot but nevertheless, crucial to me i guess..

"JC life was fun"
A complete anathema to me I guess..
LOL

It was more of the minute number of friends I have made,
And also the friends that i have strengthen bonds with over the years,
These were so much more meaningful and important to me.
And an imperative to me I shall say.

I have experienced much difference
in surroundings,
in people
and in myself as well.

A decision I dont regret.

I have retreated here,
To admit a defeat.
To tame my conceited soul.
To placate my baseless confidence.
Maybe this defeat is needed so as to keep myself in check
To not be so full of myself?

That aside,
Everything is going to be over,
And to all my friends who have taken their A lvls this time as well,
I might not be able to guarantee that we will all score well,
I might not be in a position to say that it's ok,
But I earnestly hope that we will have the courage,
To face the fruits of our labour,
To take full responsibility of our lives after this obstacle,
We can do it! =)

Love ya~

2009-05-30T11:45:00.003+08:00

Hey..
Blogging again..
LOL

Here’s some random pics

My new album,
DBSK mirotic ^^

Calendar from Caro =)

DBSK file

Initially won ticks to Y2J music showcase at lunar fusion bar..
But was barred cuz I wasn’t 18 yet..
Super ew
A few months only la.. -.-
Bt I think the guy felt kinda sorry for me and gave me this ^^

Autograph album =)

Will be posting stuff another day..
Holis are here!
Arent they?
KK..

Gtg bb

2009-05-30T10:54:00.003+08:00

Hey..

Blogging again...

After a long long long time..

FT island is coming to Singapore!!!

LOL

Date: 27th June 2009

Time: 3pm (1 Hour)

Venue: Dragonfly @ St James PowerstationTicket

Price: SGD$100

F.T. Island (Korean: 에프티 아일랜드), Five Treasure Island, or FTI, is the name of the band. The name F.T. Island stands for 'Five Treasure Island', each of the five members being a treasure.

The band's official color is yellow, and their fans carry yellow flags known as "pentasticks."

Their debut album, Cheerful Sensibility, made the sixth best-selling album of 2007 in South Korea.

F.T. Island's official fan club name is "Primadonna".

This is FT Island’s Singapore Debut and it is a concert showcase brought to you by Datzentertainment for the fans who have been extremely supportive of this event. It is by special request from the FT Island fans that the organizer is doing this concert showcase and the response from everyone thus far has been most encouraging..

Launch Day for Tickets

30th May 2009 (Saturday)@ IMM Atrium (near the Customer Service Counter)

From 3pm till 8pmTickets purchased on this day will be entitled to an EXCLUSIVE FT ISLAND Poster. While Stocks Last!

Tickets are priced at SGD$100 only and will be available on a First-Come-First-Served-Basis. Cash purchases only.Tickets Available only at IMM from 31st May till 24th June 2009 at the IMM Customer Service Counter on Level 1.

Kk...

Gtg le..

2009-03-22T21:36:00.003+08:00

Hey..
Blogging again...

I'm just posting up mirotic lyrics..
Chinese version...
I had a super hard time searching for it,
So i decided to post my own one up
=)
The chinese version sound alittle weirder bt still ok..

咒语Mirotic (Chinese Version) by DBSK

那雾那烟那迷那幻那光那灯好诱惑
你靠近我旋转着用意念力拥抱我
傻傻在等待会失败 wo~
那近那远那日那夜那长那短的噩梦
都不要来纠缠我现在我是主人翁
这里都是爱让你爱 wo~

你要我做主，我要你臣服，
爱到最深处，再也不孤独
I got you~ under my skin
你要我做主，我要你臣服
爱到最深处，完美的演出
I got you~ under my skin

我让你醉我让你瘋我让你中了魔咒
你的细语你的呼吸却让我没有了梦
这是不是爱，让你猜，wo~
怎样吻能不能间断，有了我就足够
步入你的规则，搅乱你的选择
什麼都別再說聽著我 wo~

你要我做主，我要你臣服，
爱到最深处，再也不孤独
I got you~ under my skin
你要我做主，我要你臣服
爱到最深处，完美的演出
I got you~ under my skin

I love it when you got no shame
Do that thing, so insane
You love it when I play your game,
Work that brain, I’m in your aim
Yea~ I’m in your aim!
You know you got it! Wooo~
Come on Come on,
Come on Come on
I got you~ under my skin

爱的烟火瞬间爆发出无言的寂寞
我的魔咒要你停住一刻不思索
I got you~ Under my skin
现在以后把你的心全部交给我
别再犯错我就是你唯一的选择

I got you~ Under my skin
你要我做主，我要你臣服，
爱到最深处，再也不孤独
I got you~ under my skin
你要我做主, 我要你臣服
爱到最深处，完美的演出
I got you~ under my skin

Kk..
Gtg..
Bb

2009-03-13T23:08:00.002+08:00

Hey...
Blogging again...

Super long time nvr blog le..
Eh, I feel lucky?
Have been winning many stuffs recently..
Kelly campus' concert,
Suspect X premier ticks,
Perfect cut 2 premier,
Da mouth campus' concert...
=)
Hope this lucky streak continues till my piano exam...

I havent been blogging for a long time le..
Aside frm being busy,
One thing about blogging hit me...
The point in which people who you are unfamiliar with will also learn about your life.
And sometimes,
It's nt very pleasant.

Stretching out,
I feel that I have done enough already.
And I'm still not getting the response I want.
Therefore I'll stop.
I dont care if my presence will be nugatory eventually.
I am just so enervated.
Haiz.

16PF
My results for it is very interesting.
Most compatible job areas:
Artistic and Social

Artistic:
Art
Music
Design
Theatre
Writing <---- =) Social:
Teaching
Counseling
Pshocology
Social work
Health Services

LOL man
Totally unlike that of my other friends..
Theirs are most like accounting, sciences, business etc.

One more interesting part

Career fields directly related to my unique activity interests are:
Performing Arts, Public Speaking

Occupations directly related to my unique interests are:
Advertising executive (What's dat? ), Musician (^^)
Marketing director (again, what's dat?), Attorney
Artist, Commerical, Broadcaster (wow)
Fine interior decorator, Public relations director

Interesting man..
LOL.
With the recent A levels release,
Trends of people discussing bout scholarship, uni courses,
Start to make me wonder about what I want my future to be like.
Argh..
Just purely thinking about it sends my entire mind into chaos..
I'll deal with it later..
LOL.

A Destressing show you should watch,
Family outing (Korean Variety)
It's super hilarious..
Cant see to post pics now..
Sry.

Kk..
Gtg le..
Bb =)

2009-01-30T22:18:00.003+08:00

Hey..
Blogging again...

Long time nvr blog le..
These few weeks have been hectic? (again)
Shopping for new year clothes, goodies, etc...
Start of SOT...
Chinese New Year...
Tests and many hmwk..

On the 23rd...
Went shopping with lao mu, shir and char at far east...
Walked past subway,
When I saw them,
They didnt see me yet.
Found my seat,
Right opposite them.
The feeling of wanting to acknowledge,
Coupled with fear of being shunned overwhelmed me..
Even if we recognised each other,
I dont know what to say either.
Perhaps,
I just wanted to maintain my best image,
I want his impression of me to always remain sweet.

Chinese New Year.
Went over super fast this year..
It seems so short..

Again,
I thought and thought throughout.
Whether I should be present tomorrow.
I really want to go, wanting to be there,
The conversation today,
Made me feel somewhat out of place.
Maybe somewhere in that crowd,
There's a sign.
Telling me I dont belong here.
The more I tried to blend in,
The more times I felt being given the cold shoulder.
It wasnt obvious,
But I could feel the cold knife piercing through.
I'll stop.
Perhaps I'm trying too hard,
Till it backfires.
I'll stop,
When I have no more energy,
When I can no longer endure the cold,
I'll stop.

Kk..
Gtg le...
Bb

2009-01-21T20:31:00.001+08:00

Hey..
Blogging again…

This week has been hectic?
Maths and chem tests..
But thank god it’s all over..

Saw eggs 2dae on my way to lunch,
=)
It’s so weird without him in class…
Aw..
Miss having eggs in class…

Went to HY 2dae to teach maths..
LOL…
Was super interesting..
They already learnt double angle trigo stuff..
Very OMG man..
Learn instead of teach.
BEST.

The victim state.
Reminds me of what Mr Tong said.
Victim or not,
It’s a choice.
A selected mentality.
To build a barrier around,
To protect one’s self.
To escape all responsibility,
And indirectly accepting comforting and sympathy.
The victim state, is it desirable?
To see the shadow of it today,
It pains me.
As a friend,
I can’t bear to hear it again.

In the festive mood,
With all the bustling around,
The hollowness cooped up starts to surface.
Everytime,
When the busy streak has ended,
When there is time to rest,
To think and
To recall,
I’ll be, again, engulfed by the familiar darkness.
And will still be,
Searching for my light,
In this darkness.

Kk..
Gtg..
Bb

2009-01-05T22:48:00.003+08:00

Hey..
Blogging again..

Here to share some stuff which was on MSN.com
Few of the 12 travel highlights of 2009 which caught my eye..

The Great Smoky Mountains National Park..
In Tennessee and North Carolina..
In June,
The park will celebrate its 75th anniversary..
Super gorgeous huh…

In Chicago’s Museum of Science and Industry
Harry potter exhibition..
Haha.. Nice one man..

The magnificent New England Aquarium..
=)

Las Vegas’ CASINO!
Worth US 8 billion dollars..
How can a casino cost that much man..
LOL

Last but not least,
Our very own Hotel in SENTOSA!

Oh ya,
Stumbled on something interesting too..
8 things not to mention in an interview..
Go have a look if you have time..
Makes a lot of sense.. =)
http://msn.careerbuilder.com/Article/MSN-1571-Interviewing-Eight-Worst-Things-to-Say-in-an-Interview/?sc_extcmp=JS_1571_advice&SiteId=cbmsn41571

Kk..
Gtg le..
BB~

2009-01-03T12:15:00.008+08:00

Hey..
Blogging again…

Holis are ending soon…
School’s starting soon…
-.- That’s so sad..
The sadder life, is beginning soon..

Nvm bout that..

Here to intro a drama..
Ryusi No Kizuna!!!
Super nice show..

Synopsis:
It’s bout three orphans, whose parents were murdered long ago. The trio vowed on a shooting star to one day avenge their parents.

Show’s basically bout them three tracking down their parent’s murder and carrying out scams to earn money ( in a super interesting and comical way)

Main cast:
Ninomiya Kazunari as Ariake Koichi (Arashi)
Nishikido Ryo as Ariake Taisuke (NEWS)
Toda Erika as Ariake Shizuna

Here are some pics =)

Main pic - Ryusei No Kizuna

Corelation Chart

Ariake 3 when they were young

The older versions

Ariake Koichi - oldest

Ariake Taisuke- Second eldest

Ariake Shizuna- Youngest

2 policemen in charge of investigating their case

George san- Their nice caretaker

Lao mu's fav character

TAKAYAMA HISANOBU- One of the scam-ed victims

Acts as a weird hysterical woman popping out all around,

When in actual fact( as in nt in show)

is a super great singer...

She has a mesmerizing voice =)

Pics taken frm

http://wiki.d-addicts.com/Ryusei_no_Kizuna
http://martypedia.wordpress.com/
http://www.tbs.co.jp/ryuseinokizuna/

Random pics during planning

Kk..

Gtg le..

Go watch & enjoy

Bb..

Love ya~

2008-12-31T16:42:00.003+08:00

Hey...

Blogging again...

Back frm vietnam..
The place's ok,
Many many imitation stuffs to buy..
That's bout all...

A friend asked,
Did you enjoy your trip?
I would be lying if i say i didnt.
Come on,
4&5 star hotels
Buffet meals
7-8 course meals
How could I nt enjoy?

Bt I'd rather not have went,
Unbearable.
I just found out,
I cannot bear the hot and cold attitudes shown,
A moment,
We could be super harmonious,
A moment,
We could be like enemies with deep rooted hatred..
There were many quarrels,
But they always ended because I chose to give in..
I thought everything would be fine if I just let it go,
But it accumulates,
And I feel so tired always having to give in everything to everyone.

For him,
Having to wake up early and all this crap stuff,
Just because the rest are insanely early and free.
Having to care bout the status he have.
I'm tired.
At least hear me reason out,
Or at the most, give me one.
Always rushing around.
If that's the case,
I'd rather not tour.

For her,
It's ok overall.
I'm grateful she had to bear with me bout my fussy choosing stuff attitude.
The biasness has gone way too far,
I know she realises it sometimes and tries to help,
But please dont.
It's nt helping at all.
I just feel more hurt.
That's why I dont care anymore.
Just go show your favourite one the biasness k?
Leave me alone.

I promise you,
Nxt year's countdown,
I wont be celebrating it at home.
I swear.
Even if you dont agree,
You wont be seeing me at home.

For the little her,
I'm tired.
Having to tolerate her missy attitude,
Or what you call
"da xiao jie pi qi"
Endless number of giving in.
When things crop up,
It's always my fault.

When she has a question,
She bothers me,
That's fine.
But can she at least not go ask someone else after that.
It makes me feel like she doesnt believe me.
If she doesnt it's fine.
Just dont ask me.

In conclusion,
Just leave me alone.

In conclusion,
I am never going to a place I dunno bout with them.
I will never want to spent so much time with them.
I cant take it,
I really cant.
The more time spent,
The more opportunities there are for conflict.
So ya,
Unless I really want to travel to that place,
I'll go.
If not,
I'll not, ever, want to travel with them again.
I dont want to be so hurt and so tired.

At the waterfalls,
It really hurts.
I wanted so much to stay there,
Or to go to a place,
Away from all of you.
You will never be able to imagine the pain I felt.

Campfire at hy yesterday was fun!
=)
Oh man,
I miss days in HYSC!

Kk..
Nida go le
Bb~ =)

2008-12-19T22:48:00.004+08:00

Hey...
Blogging again...

CHALET was FUN!!!
Oh man..
I really liked and miss those sec4 days..
When we all hung out together
4e1!!!! I love u guys!!! =)
Post about it another day..
Nida get rdy for vietnam trip...

Here are some pics of stuffs

Tank's old album...
Bought it at gramaphone...
Gift frm mum and dad

Birthday present frm Mum =)
THE X FAMILY!!!

"Chocolate" frm lao mu and xiong...
Haha
Thanks for the Oguri Shun photo album
=)

Birthday present frm George =)
When I first got it with the wrapper,
I was like
"Soft toy? LOL... House gt many many"
Den open = OMG!
L!!!!
Haha
Thanks =)

Dolphin key chain from caro..
There's a miffy bag too!!!
Super interesting..
But it's in my luggage..
So,
TOO BAD~
LOL

I had to go back to the store to exchange the dvd mum brought..
Cuz cant even play..
When play den no sound…
Got sound = pic distorted..
So irritating..
I’m so nt gg to buy china drama anymore..
LOL
Changed twice..
The TS person gave me another set initially bt still didn’t work..
So changed that show to
THE X FAMILY!
I’m so not regretting it..
Enjoying =)

This incident was troublesome,
But very unexpected,
Seems a little like fate..
During my 3rd trip to JP to exchange my show,
I was so irritated on the way,
Thinking that is this so kind of bad day,
Or am I suppose to meet someone there?

And ya,
My birthday wish came true.
Belated, but still as good.
Perhaps even better.

Just as I was walking out TS,
The security gates thing at the TS place there rang..
Kinda shocked man,

_________________________________
So I looked up.
The group of people walking pass TS also looked at the gates,
(DUH~ Natural reaction)
I caught the eye of the guy nearest to me..
The connection was short but I was stunned…
I had never expected to see him here, at this time,
And most of all,
At this situation..
Over the years,
Saw him once a blue blue moon,
But never managed eye contact…
The elation I’m experiencing is great,
Even though he might not remember me anymore…
But something tells me he still does.
I hope so too..
---------------------------------------------------

Kk..
Back…
The sales person forgot to remove the code thing..
LOL…
No wonder it rang,
And,
Thank god it rang..

Kk..
Rlly gtg le..
BB…

VIETNAM,
Here I come!!!

2008-12-15T22:44:00.002+08:00

Hey..
Blogging again..

A second time.
This time,
By someone closer.
By the same means,
I went blog hopping again.
Fine then.
Next time,
I shall not do that again.
I will just stick to the few two three blogs i crap at.
The pain,
Quick and effective.

The feeling of being forgotten.
So unbearable.
I never want to experience it again.

Thinking back.
You did try to help.
You seem so sincere.
I really thought you were.
I found clashes in the conversation,
With the truths from another source.
I thought you regarded me as your friend,
You said I was a good friend.
But you failed to trust me.
Hearing it from someone else wasnt as great.
I would have congratulated you.

Found out,
My traces vanished from your life,
Perhaps it shouldnt have been there from the start.

Why me?
Why me?

2008-12-14T23:51:00.002+08:00

Hey..
Blogging again..

Much better now =)

Perhaps clouded by anger.
I gave my early conclusive statement too.

Apologies.

It just clashes.
Your way of caring,
My preferred way of being cared.
I know you dont mean it.
But still...

I'm so tired.
So so tired.

kk..
gtg..
bb

b

2008-12-14T21:37:00.002+08:00

Hey..
Blogging again...

Kinda in a bad mood now..
So just bear with me..

12/12
Went to lot one with huan...
She gave me a treat..
Very unexpected but still happy..
Wanted to buy something for myself but didnt find any..
Instead, went to get lao mu's present..
Got into a whole lot of trouble..
But well,
It was worth it
=)

2dae.
I dislike this feeling.
I dislike you questioning me like that.
I dislike you passing on your judgement just like that.
I dislike you not checking the facts before you came up with your damned evaluation.
I dislike you treating things that are so important to me, so lightly.

Whatever that is,
You will never get it.
You never did.
You dont understand.
You never will.

I initially wanted to change my schedule,
So that I can fit it into your myopic view.
I will slack and play off in the day.
I will only do work and other serious stuff when you are around.
So as to throw off your superficial conclusions.
But in the end,
I decided otherwise.

Since you dont trust me,
Since you never trusted me,
There's no point.
I will just carry on as usual.
You can nag,
You can scold,
I will try my best not to care.
This isnt the first time.
Neither is it the tenth.
I will get used to it one day.
I'll try my best,
Not to care.

Just when I thought it was all over,
I got signs that it was not.
It was never over in fact.
I'm so looking forward to chalet on wed.
So that,
I can get away from your vicious eyes.

Kk..
Gtg..
Tired.

2008-12-11T23:57:00.004+08:00

Hey…
Blogging again..

Here to share some stuffs..
K..
Actually,
One stuff..

Pic of hot wheels model car casing
Kimi Raikkonen’s Signature man..
Super cool sia..
A mini model of his car,
Even the helmet colour is the same..
But didn’t take pic of model because cant see clear..
No point too..
Haha
Got Felipe Massa’s too!
(Giving don’t care face.. HAHA…)
But dun have Hamilton’s
(If not, STRAIGHTAWAY buy..)
=)

Moving on…

10/12/2008
When to yan liang’s place to surprise her..
Haha…
We did some thorough planning…
And I can proudly say,
SHE WAS SURPRISED!
=)
Gt surprised too when after singing yan liang’s bdae song,
Wan Qin and Shir suddenly sang another time bringing another candle
FOR ME =)
Happy~

Here are some pics =)

The cake =)

Yan Liang's face after she realised we tricked her
LOL

Yan Liang cutting cake

My turn =)

Thanks guys~
Touched =)
Happy too!!!

11/12/2008 (MY BIRTHDAY!)
Received happy birthday messages!!!
=)
Happy~

Thanks

Caro
George
Alina
Sis
Dad
Mum
Shir
Tie Guai Li
Huan
Yan Liang
Ron
Ya Zi
Sooks
Eggs
Ying Jie
Yan Jie
Adeline
Lao Mu (Sent 11.58PM… LOL)

Went out with Tie Guai Li..
Haha
Watched bolt!
Oh man..
It’s like so cute..
Especially the dog’s carrot..
Haha
Went for sakae sushi buffet too!
Visited the arcade later =)
Pics

Christmas tree at suntec

Sakae plates
The buffet's damn good

Some pics frm the movie
Super cute

Had another celebration at home too!

Nice Mocha cake

Chose by mum and sis

Sparkling drink I bought!!!

That's me

Presents =)

Earphones

And Cynaquil frm sis

Kk..

That's all..

Gtg..

2008-12-09T21:53:00.002+08:00

Hey...
Blogging again..

Got an invitation to help out at my friend's surprise birthday party..
I am so going to plan an unforgettable one for her...
That aside,
A tinge of sadness clouds my mind.
Perhaps the aftermath from yesterday.
But it's ok,
If I am not fated to receive it,
I might as well do the best for my friend..
So that she would receive double the joy.
Receive my half too
=)

Thanks my dearest tie guai li,
For planning my day,
For just being there to hear me out.
I am so glad to hear your voice.
A heartwarming voice to tell me that,
You are always here for me
=)

Kk..
Gtg..
So gg to plan an extravagant party!!
WOO
Bb

2008-12-09T00:15:00.002+08:00

Hey..
Blogging again..

Boring day..
So went blog hopping..

Saw stuff.
Happy ones,
Not so happy ones.
Experienced the feeling of being forgotten.
When your existence disappear from the life of a good friend.
Well, maybe now, just a friend.

Forgotten,
Forgotten.
These few days,
I was so troubled by the fear of being forgotten.
I thought through.
And ya,
It's ok.
It's ok if one's forgotten.
Just as long as you didnt do anything against your concious,
As long as you sincerely faced them.
It's ok if you're forgotten.
At least, you, have (or rather once) made an impact in their lives.
You were once, someone that they consider, a friend.

My dream last night.
I kept wondering why my third brother would suddenly pop up in my dream.
Of all people why at this time, and why him.
I finally got my answer just now.
Because he was one that has never forgotten.
Year after year.
Even when I sometimes forget, when I dont feel like caring,
He will appear and prepare it.
With a heartwarming smile,
He will pass it to me.
Saying MadamMa, Happy Birthday!!
Even when we have separated,
He would sent his little brother to pass it to me.
Thanks for everything.
I miss you so much

This time,
I was thinking of spending it at the rink.
But the JE's gone now.
Perhaps I would just grab some popcorn and watch a movie.
Linger around the library or something.

Kk..
Gtg..
Bb
2days

2008-12-08T10:27:00.002+08:00

Hey..
Blogging again..

Yesterday's dream.
A scary one.
I'm so afraid that I have to go through it alone.
Tormented by the thought of having no one around me at that time.

Wanting to pull people.
But who?
Just dont wish that it'll be forgotten.
I'm so going to have to overcome it.

Kk..
Gtg..
Love ya

2008-12-04T21:33:00.002+08:00

Hey..
Blogging again..

On the 30th,
Went to kallang's rink..
JEC's closed down so ya...
There I am..

Kallang Leisure Park's kinda deserted..
Bt ok I guess.
At least there's shuttle bus..

It took me long.
But I realised in the end,
I didnt like it as much as I thought I did.
When the venue changed,
When the memories were absent,
Everything felt so empty.
I found out that my passion was ignited by you.
But when you gradually vanished,
So did the flame.

Move on.
I think I finally did.
The anticipation till that day wasnt immense.
The disappointment of you not being there wasnt great.
The motivation to strive for excellence is no longer you.
I found my own goal, my very own aim to work towards.
It's time to bid farewell.

No more fairytale for me to cling on.
Instant loneliness.
I will miss you.
Miss you so much.

Monday,
Went to scholarship talk with ron..
Super cool~
At Swissotel the Stamford...
Even the refreshment buffet is high class..
Haha
Interesting talk =)
I will work hard for it

Kk..
Gtg le..
bb

2008-11-29T11:58:00.002+08:00

Hey..
Blogging again..

Went K 歌 outing with

Ron
Steve
Shu Yee
Char
&
2 Pingus
=)

Was super fun..
Went for nice food quest at chinatown..
Bt since no one had any idea..
So, it kinda failed..
LOL

Went to the 10 dollar club there to k songs..
That place is so cool~
So much better than k box..
Cheaper somemore..
Gt free flow of drinks too =)
And a bowl of shark fin soup
(Though didnt taste like one)

Wasnt as high yesterday bt it was still enjoyable..
=)
Steve like didnt sing any songs lor..
The pingus selected "童话" for steve..
Bt failed..
He still didnt sing..
Perhaps the closest to singing he did was with the song "我可以"

The pingus selected "一百万"
Bt in the end..
Failed again cuz no one knows how to sing..
Haha

Sang Y2J songs..
Bt kinda sad cuz it's duet and no one else know..
Sian..
I am so gg to find a y2j fan to come k 歌 with me next time..

After that,
When to people's park there in 2nd quest of good food..
And than, went back with the 2 pingus..
Fun day? =)

Kk..
Gtg..

2mr's the day.
I hope you will appear

2008-11-27T21:34:00.004+08:00

Hey..
Blogging again...

These das have been experimenting with some cool jap blog..
Jugem.jp
Very interesting..
Haha

Did up my first jap blog
Theme?
OGURI SHUN!
Haha

Dental 2dae was scary..
The dentist nice though..
While cleaning my teeth,
He kept talking to me..
Best part --> I cant answer..
Think bout 15 mins den he kinda realised and kept laughing..
Haha...
Bt he's nice though..
Didnt hurt much bt all the drilling sound,
Were enough to send shivers down my spine..
Super Scary man..

WOOO!
Looking forward to 2mr..
It's K time
Haha

Here to share some cool MSN.com pics..
Art around US.

This one's titled: LOVE (In Philadelphia)
Cool huh..
Look like the one near plaza sing..
If I'm nt wrong..
LOL

Title: Spiral Jetty (In Utah)
Copy and paste: A 1,500-foot coil of rock and earth juts out from an isolated shore of the Great Salt Lake. Made up of black basalt rock, soil and white salt encrustations, the Spiral loops though water tinted an improbable red by algae.

Title: Free Stamp (In Cleveland)
Super interesting!

Title: Cloud Gate (In Chicago)
The reflection is amazing =)

Kk..
Gtg..
Bb =)
Love ya~

3 more days

2008-11-23T22:16:00.006+08:00

Hey..

Blogging again...
Holis are still bored~

Wednesday
Last week went out with lao mu and xiong on wednesday..
Went to cineleisure first..
And then heeren...
And guess wad?
I bought 神木与瞳 album =)
Some shots of it..

The cover

Back

At heeren saw the Mirotic album too..
Super cool..

Went to the ice cream shop introduced in DSDFX...
At city link..
The ice cream is super nice man..
Pics =)

The ice cream is something like belgium choc and banana?
Drats..
I forgot the name..
There's xiong at the back

Saw caro while we were eating too..
Haha..
In cool subway uni..

We also went to some cool store..
Which sells many many unique stuff..
Lao mu bought a special music box..
And Xiong bought special edition transparent bear..
Haha
Am kinda broke so didn’t buy anything..
LOL.
Eyeing the mercury.
I am so coming back

We also went to an interesting supermart..
Bought SUSHI
=)

Friday
Went to char's house..
With fellow click 5
Was fun..

Got a present frm Hokaiddo..
Thanks Char..
=)

Weekend's almost over without me noticing it..
I am so going to pull ppl out with me this week..
K box, Anyone?

7 days and 29 mins to be exact.
I'm anticipating this day more than any other day.
Even if it doesnt mean much to you.
Even if you have forgotten my existence.
Even if you wont be turning up.
I will always be here,
If you ever need me.
For you are and will always be my birthday wish.

This year,
My wish came true slightly early.
Except for one thing.
You dont recognize me anymore.
Or did you not see me?
Perhaps I dont want to know the answer anymore.
I want to keep the best image of you I have.
Right in here.
To last me till eternity.

Good luck for your trip!

Sparkling eyes.
Mesmerizing huh?

kk..
Gtg..
Bb..
Love ya~

2008-11-17T20:24:00.015+08:00

Hey..

Blogging again..

It's going to be a long post..

Haha

Be prepared..

Last weekend was a star-ry weekend..

Was super fun..

Saturday

Morning went to do passport..

Wow..
The place was damn crowded..

Ate some scissor cut curry for lunch..

It was nice..

I didnt thought I would ever ate curry that's nicer than queenway's

LOL

Evening went to mediacorp..

To watch sheng siong show...

And main, Y2J!!!

OMG..

They are damn great!!

Their live performance was super super nice..

Should have went to bugis to see them perform..

Bt nvm =)
Will continue to support them =)

神木与瞳 go go go~

Here's some photos

The Sheng Siong Show set

Cool huh..

It's very cold...

Side view

Show starting in 10 mins..

Hosts rehearsing..

Here's Desmond Koh.

Sian..

Due to some copyright stuff,

Cant take pictures when the show is ongoing..

Sad

But nvm..

神木与瞳 live was so fantastic!!
Here's a blurred photo which I sneaked to take immediately after the show

Y2J!

A clearer picture from web =)

Sunday

Was supposed to meet lao wu..

Went to library first.

Lunch at imm

And..

Fahrenheit time..

Haha

Not a super fahrenheit fan..

But rather a 終極一家 fan..

Actually had a good place..

But had to give it up cuz of headache..

ARGH

If at old good place,

All these photos = x10 clearer

LOL

The stage area (obviously)

Below are all taken by Yan jie =)

At the FAR FAR PLACE

Still at the FAR FAR PLACE BEHIND

Please refer to the above

Them singing =)

Quite ok..

Singing~

Singing~~

Singing~~~

The headache wasnt any better so left..

Just now while waiting,

Met up with Caro and Yan Jie..

Supposed to have dinner but wasnt hungry..

While walking,

Saw ron and olivia.. =)

Actually decided to go back soon after to rest,

But while walking back,

Felt very emo,

So when back up..

Haha..

And saw,

Cosplay ppl

Oh ya!

Yan Jie,

Here are the Cosplay pics I forgot to show u

WOOO.. I recognise this one.

Naruto

Haha

At the end

Kk..

Gtg le..

Love ya~

2008-11-11T15:53:00.002+08:00

Hey..
Blogging again..

Saw a program,
Triggered many memories.
I did my best.
I really did.
Took me alot of time...
But I finally thought through.
=)

Woo!
Saw an interesting advertisement..
Swissotel the Stamford,
Here I come!!!

Again.
The day is arriving..
Year after year.
The mixed emotions.
This year would be a different year.
Our place has recently become inaccessible.
A frequent base has been demolished.

Sometimes I wonder.
It feels like it isnt fair.
I'm being surrounded by all these places.
I'm constantly being reminded of your presence.
Every single day,
I see them.
Buried under the avalache questions.
Connections to you all around school.

Perhaps,
At a hidden corner.
In your own world,
Which leaves no traces of me.

Even if so,
I'm still glad you appeared.
For I know,
Some where in time,
I wasnt the only one that felt like this

Kk..
Gtg..
Love ya~

a 20 days count down.
Skating anyone?

2008-11-10T16:38:00.003+08:00

Hey,
Blogging again..

The unnecessary struggle within me.
I didnt screw up but I chose wrongly.
After all I did,
I cant just give up now.
I cant accept the fact that I lost.
All I ask is a second chance to prove myself.
To concede defeat if I'm really incapable.

I know it is nearly impossible.
But I have faith.
I believe in miracles.
Please let it happen.
I really need this.
I will do whatever it takes.
Please.

2008-11-09T11:51:00.002+08:00

Hey..
Blogging again..

Yesterday was a unique experience..
Went out with grace, madeline, jinhuan, kenneth, yu shun and 2 other weird people..
Ron was there too..
We cab-ed there together..

The waiting time was hazardous..
LOL.
But was complaining with grace and jinhuan...
Ron and the other guys were so damn lucky..
Haha
They reached the destination like 3 hours before us lor..
Haha
Saw a barbie doll eyed guy on the way..
All of them said he was gorgeous
-.- Eye so big, like want to drop out..
Yu shun was so much more better looking?
He's hair's cool
LOL

At some point,
We were all like so so tired..
Wanna go home man...
Met yee san and hui zheng on the way..
=)
We all chatted..
And I got some sort of a big comfort..
Thanks ppl..

There was one pt which jinhuan was like repeating and repeating..
Like some broken cd player..
Me and grace were like -.-
Haha

Went to all cool place..
Wow...
First time, first hand contact...
The conversation was interesting,
Really cheer-ed me up,
But was kinda disappointing..
Contradicting huh? lol

Went back with the girls,
Later further met up with Ron for dinner again..
Yay Ron!
A breakthrough.
We did it!
No regrets~

Hey guys,
Let's meet up again soon,
I will miss you guys

Kk
Gtg..
Bb

2008-11-07T18:58:00.002+08:00

Hey,
Blogging...

I so glad i tried.
Yup
=)
Thanks mum for not making a fuss out of that..
Super impt k? Haha
=)

Initially gg with cp, grace and jin huan..
Now, Ron's coming too..
I'm so glad he's coming..
Thanks man..
Super confidence booster..
=)
Was rehearsing and chatting with Ron just now..

Kk...
Gtg..
Bb...

Ron, we are so going to go thru..
Haha
=)

2008-11-04T21:59:00.004+08:00

Hey,
Blogging again..

2dae was super slack day...
Went to submit I&R 2dae..
Kinda waste time..
Went so early,
Grp members so late.
LOL
Nvm, last pw meeting, shall forgive them.

Supposed to be irritated.
But ok now.
Over some photos stuff.
LOL

Wanted to get your approval for that.
Wanted to inform you on that.
Wanting to not just go without telling you.
But, afraid of your rejection,
That you will not consent

But it will pass,
It will pass.
Till then,
I will still struggle on how to approach them for this topic.
How to deal with the disappointment if they dont allow me too,
(Notice I said disappointment not the disapproval)
I am determined, that I will still go even if you both dont allow.
I hope I will eventually tell you
But if not,
It just shows that I dont trust you enough to believe you will be there for me.

Kk..
Wahjong-ing now
Too bored
zzz
bb

2008-11-03T12:53:00.004+08:00

WOOO

Second post for the day,

Quote frm F1 web,
After those gripping final laps there was almost disbelief at McLaren as Hamilton scraped home, but Massa had that covered as he graciously conceded defeat.“We need to congratulate Lewis,” he said. “He did a great championship, and he scored more points than us, so deserves to be champion.”

Finally arh!

Haha

GO HAMILTON!!!

Yay!!! =)

Quote from Hamilton after the race

Lewis Hamilton:

"The most dramatic race of my whole life. It's pretty much impossible to put this into words: I'm still speechless. It's been such a long journey, but I've always had the support of my family, the team, our partners and the fans. We did a fantastic job throughout the whole year and, with all the sacrifices we made, I'm so thrilled to be able to win this for everyone. "Before it started to rain I was quite comfortable, and I was just focused on having a clean race. Then it started to drizzle and I didn't want to take any risks - but Sebastian got past me and I was told that I had to get back in front of him. I couldn't believe it. Then at the very last corner I managed to get past Timo - it was just amazing. This was one of the toughest races of my life, if not the toughest. I was shouting, ‘Do I have it? Do I have it?' on the radio. It was only when I took the chequered flag and got to Turn One that the team told me I was world champion. I was ecstatic."

Happy

Here's photos to share!

Maclaren

Massa winning F1 Brazil Grand Prix

Awww..

Sad face after knowing HAMILTON WIN!

Congratulations for the F1 CHAMPION

Celebratings with Dad and Bro

GO HAMILTON! =)

2008-11-03T12:38:00.002+08:00

Hey,
Blogging again..

OP just ended..
Tink I did quite well..
Bt the q&a part was kinda crap..
Haha
Eggs say when I present gt ang moh accent
LOL

Anyways,
YAY!
It's all over!!!

Now,
I'm preparing for the something new I want to try...
I have overcomed my own barrier...
And now I have to cross another..
Which is,
My parents.
Sis say that they most probably wun support me in that.
But I rlly want to try.
Just for fun and the experience.
Ennui-ed
I can choose to not tell and do things my way,
But seems quite bad.

I shall pluck up my courage to ask them.
I shall try for this time.
Definitely scared of them rejecting me.
But if they rlly do,
I guess, the disappointment will be intense.
Cuz I seriously want to go for it and have fun!
I crossed my own obstacle.
(It aint easy man. It took me like almost one whole week)
I have come so far.
And I wont back down.
If they wont back me,
Perhaps future events,
I will do things my own way.

The wall,
Between us,
Will be constructed again.

LOL.
Serious tone.

Anyway,
For those having OP 2mr,
GD LUCK!!!
ALL THE BEST!
=)

BB

2008-10-31T19:30:00.002+08:00

Hey..

Blogging again..

2dae was slack day...
Initially eating dinner with Msua and Shan,
But something came up..
Sad =(
Nvm
Msua!! Get well soon~

Have been thinking.
Can I really go for it?
I want to try.
Purely for experience.
To feel what's it like being there.
To just have fun.
But the courage to do it.
Will I be going alone?
Will I even be going?

Wanting to ask for advice,
To ask for company,
Looking around,
Dont know who I can say that to.
It's going to be hard.
Can I overcome it?

Kk..
Gtg
love ya~

2008-10-30T19:43:00.005+08:00

Hey..
Blogging again...

Chinese A lvl today.
Front part ok.
Back = dead
(Nvr seen before so many words I dunno in a test)
-.-

Bt nvm..
OVER!!!

Yay!
Left OP!!!

Went out with Shan for lunch 2dae..
Was fun!!!
2mr,
Dinner with Shan and msua..
WOOO!
Looking forward.

Change.
Did I change much?
Perhaps it vaies according to how long you knew me?
How deep you knew about me?
Or did you even know me?
For my family I guess,
I changed much
ALOT
Friends?
Depends
Emo time
LOL

Anyway,
Posted to myself a challenge.
Should I go for it?
Purely for experience and fun.
To immerse in the atmosphere.
To try something I have never did,
And might never get the chance again.
Something very different.
A break through.

I hope I'm able to just break this barrier.

Even if I really did,
Would I be able to garner support from them?

Kk..
Gtg..
Bb..
=)

2008-10-28T19:52:00.002+08:00

Hey..
Blogging again..

Here are some additional photos

Credits to http://public.fotki.com/ourvoicebox/zao_shi_causeway_point/

Wahaha..
Look closely and are see Shir and Me
LOL
Seemed like photoshopped
BT NOT OK
WAS THERE
LOL

Another WU JIA HUI photo =)

Kk..

Dat's all

love ya~

2008-10-26T19:01:00.003+08:00

Hey,
Blogging again..

Went to omni theatre with mum 2dae,
Chanced upon an F1 exhibition!!!
Here to share some pics

F1 shaped model

Learned bout cool tires~

The meaning of the flags
The front one's for hamilton!!!
Woo! Hope he gets to reach it first

This one's for alonso and all those against hamilton
Haha
Can go find out the meaning LOL

f1 car from williams
didnt know they were in the top in the past
Go NICO and Nakajima!

Peter windsor

F1 journalist!
Envious man!!

Cool car model pen.

But the car model's kinda ugly.

Reminds me of mr er's transformer robot.

super cool

Kk..

Gtg..

2008-10-25T23:20:00.006+08:00

Hey..

Blogging again..

Friday was so fun!

After school went to Causeway point with shir...

To see yoga lin..

Haha

They had some promotional activity there..

Suppose to be there to see Jade liu

Bt end up?

I shall say more later..

This is the place.

Arrive quite early with shir..

Sooks came too!

She has cool interesting text books..

Haha

Event starts.

2 djs arrive.

1st celebrity arrives

WU JIA HUI!

He looks super super cute in person

And his voice is so amazing.

At first was I was like

"WOOO gt yoga and jade, da zui ba also ok.. er.. wu jia hui arh? -.-"

Bt after seeing him in real person.

Changed super lot

He is so talented!!

Cute rite?

He's super warm towards fans.

The atmosphere was so high!

When he sang,

The crowd went crazy!!!

Most importantly,

Wahaha, have eye contact with me.

(When everyone else also, bt that's not the pt...LOL)

Especially when the song was ending.

It was long long long eye contact. OMG

Totally sensational and electrifying experience

I am now a super fan

LOL

Hey, anyone's wu jia hui fan?

Want join fan club?

I dun wan join alone.

Haha

Serious K?

Da zui ba's next!

The lead singer's not bad.

Very very attactive,

Super great in dancing.

The dj guy's super good too.

There's jade liu li yang..

-.-

(Ron, sook and shir shd know y)

Last but not least,

Shir and Sook's fav,

Yoga lin!

There's us!

Without ron cuz he went to lot 1

LOL

Kk..

Gtg le.

Blog again another day.

Tired

2008-10-22T21:58:00.002+08:00

Hey..
Blogging again..

This week was fun?

Firstly,
GREAT SUNDAY.
Y?
Cuz Hamilton got first.
Wahaha.
He's kinda supposed to win the championship bt some Raikkonen allowed Massa thru.
Erms.
Nevermind.
No difference.
Hamilton's still going to win!
I have confidence
Cheerios~
Any fans out there?
I'm running out of people to discuss bout that.
Haha

Tuesday was great?
Pon school cuz it's some waste time sport carnival.
Accompanied ron to go to the MOE scholarship talk.
Was quite ok.
Shir, Wan Qin and Yan ling went too..
So did SHAN!
OMG!!! Was kinda shocked to see her there
She had never gave me the impression that she wanted to be a teacher.
Haha
Long story but i was rite...
LOL
Tofu came along too.
Kinda surprising.
After the talk,
Accompanied Shan back to AC before gg back.
Me & Ron started the "I shd have gone somewhere else" talk again.
Sigh. Nvm.
It over.
I shall try to get over it.
I found out that I am still as anti JJ as ever.
Haha

The talk was interesting and inspiring.
But the weird thing is,
It didnt inspire me to take up the scholarships or to be a teacher.
But amazingly,
I finally know where I want to head in the future.
JOURNALISM
After hearing the talk,
I am determined to venture into journalist related jobs.
Weird huh.

Went to NTU today for some career talk.
The building is so so cool.
The equipment were awesome and super COSTLY
Me and Shir were crapping bout how much they spent just to get someone to repair it.
30,000?
And I mean really that much.
The buffet was great too.

NTU's like so near my house and wanted to take bus home.
Bout 2-3 stops I guess?
I realised that there's a difference between 179A & 179
ARGH!
Shall talk bout that another day.

Wan Qin tolkd me something that left a huge imprssion on me.
She said something my GP teacher commented on me.
A tremendous boost leaving me as elated as ever.
I am so so so going to ace my presentation 2mr, if not, the day after.

Just now I visited a senior's blog.
Some senior I admired alot during lower sec (only) .
But kinda stunned at what has happened all these years.
Well, Life's unpredictable.

Just now (again)
Saw a photo.
Got another shock.
But I was just a fallacy.
I think too much.
Relieved.
However,
Appalled by my reaction.
My god, I dont know how I would have reacted if it was the truth.
Oh man.
Why am I still ovrewrought by this.
Damn it.

Kk.
Gtg now.
BB
love ya~

2008-10-16T18:51:00.002+08:00

Hey..
Blogging again..

Oh man..
Why does it have to be like this?
Fine. I dont care anymore.

Wanted to take up the DUA programme,
Not as mainstream,
But just as an in depth help for choosing of career,
For enrichment.

It would add on to my testimonial and resume if I have another diploma..
It wouldnt hurt rite?

This is of great importance to me,
And it has been troubling me for the whole day.
And in return,
I get the no CCA blaming me talk..
Since when did they even care..
Now starting to blame me.
Irritating sia.
The first time I ever seriously considered my career.

Fine then.
Forget it.
I dun care.
I dun want to care anymore.

I hate this.
Just get lost.

Just want I needed someone,
I stared into blank space.
I am all alone

2008-10-14T16:51:00.002+08:00

Hey..
Blogging again..

OP rehearsal ended..
I think I was ok..
Cept of the fact I argued with the teacher regard the relevance of the qns
LOL

I still rmbed my first rehearsal
I was so so nervous
But I did ok though
What left the deepest impression on me was
That one of my classmates said I seemed like a newspresenter
Haha
Hey, dat's a lot of encouragement for me k?
I am so going to ace OP!!!

Holis are still a long long time away..
School like, so so so boring.
The only thing I look forward now = recess
& go home time.
-.-

When leaving the classroom today,
I wished Shir gd luck for her OP
One of her PW answered in a somehow sarcastic tone
"We dont need the luck ok."
super -.-
Felt like answering back
"Look! No one's wishing you that k? -.-"
The thought of hoping she has it all smooth sailing,
Wanting her to do well.
Is that wrong?
-.-
In just one moment,
All positive feelings towards him, vanished.

The emptyness is overwhelming.
The lifeless days were so terrible
So hard to endure.
When one ended,
There's no looking forward,
The next one would be the same.
Starring at the notes,
Hearing the lecturer's voice,
Not listening though
Day after day,
What am I doing?
I wonder.

48 more days

Kk..
Gtg le..
BB
Love ya~

2008-10-09T23:51:00.002+08:00

Hey..
Blogging again..

These days have been hectic...
Got back promo papers,
Lectures resume,
OP start,
Chionging time...

Gt back bio,
Yay! Passed...
Nt bad k..

Gt not bad for GP either,
Let's just see,
I didnt let Mr Tong down
Haha

Econs for me was ok too,
Didnt know how well I fare in the class,
Bt the marks are ok for me le..
At least I did very well for my essay part
20/25 =)
Happy man

Had OP rehearsal 2dae,
I was quite prepared bt am defeated by nervousness
ARGH!!!
I know I can do it..
It's just that I lack the confidence
Ironic huh..

Nvm,
I shall improve greatly 2mr!
Wahaha..

Pissed of by 2 ppl 2dae,
O... Its 12, so, yesterday then

Firstly,
By a damned hypocrite
(My fellow click 6 will know bout that)
Damn irritating...
What's with saying all these stuff behind me and shir's back to so many ppl?
Esp to our gd friends which = we will know it.
And I mean many good friends...
Like 3/4 of the students there are good friends of ours.
Terrible, terrible
-.-
Den act like nth happen
What hypocrisy. F

Next, by an irritating someone.
I really applaud my own courage and acceptance level.
After the past incident,
I have told myself to forgive and forget,
To start anew.
What I got was disappointment.
I didnt ask for alot,
Just for some help as I have something important 2mr.
Perhaps I am just too bothered,
And that I dislike the fact that,
She chose not to help me and a time when I needed help,
When I sincerely helped her and wanted to see the smile on her face.
After the last incident,
It took me quite sometime to get over it and get something for her.
I told myself that it's ok if she did not do the same for me,
It's ok if she did not see my day as how important I saw hers.
But I drew the line when she did not even want to help when she's like so damn free.
K.
Forget it.
My expectation's too high?

I dont say it but I am still haunted by it.
An Idol turn nightmare.
Everytime I see that Idol, I will inevitably remember that vast disappointment.
The autograph that she promised,
That I anticipated all night long.
Just because of a small arguement,
She chose to break that promise.
It might not mean anything to her,
But it meant alot to me.
When she first announced that she obtained it,
I was so elated and was like thanking her profusely.
At the moment she decide to keep it,
My heart shattered,
The trust,
The respect,
The wanting to care and share everything will her disappeared.
She knows how much I wanted that autograph,
Yet she still did that.
At one pt, I hated her so much and wanted her to disappear,
Not now though,
I hope not.

I have finished venting.
Haha

Kk..
Nida chiong maths now..
BB
Love ya~
Gtg

2008-10-01T17:33:00.002+08:00

Hey..
Blogging again..

Promos over..
So many things have happened..

Failed my piano exam..
=(
Bt nvm..
I kinda expected it.

I told myself to be strong.
To not shed any tears
I failed.

I shall get distinction the next time.
Just you wait and see.
I will get it.

Lao mu say it's like impossible.
Well,
Let's just say I am not one that accepts that.

Bio paper 2
Damn it sia..
I failed..
By few marks..
So damn damn irritating..
Nt I dunno how to do but rather,
DEFINED TERM

more than one = wrong
MUST write =two or more

Damn shit sia..
Happened to many many qns
SUPER IRRITATED

Nvm
I shall score for the rest of the subs
I am so so certain

Promos ended bt no relaxing can be done
OP rehearsal nxt wk
Sian
It's the PW days again...

-.-

What lao mu said,
Reminds me of what many said.
People dearest to me,
People I dislike,
People around me.
Telling me what I can and cannot do.
I hate it please.
No one dictates my life.
No one tells me what I cannot do.
I decide myself.
I control my life.
You can say I am egotistic or whatever.
I am fine with that.

F1 race!
OMG
Super nice man..
Go HAMILTON!!
Super unexpected when Massa had a pit stop incident and Kimi crashed..
AWWWWW
Too bad..

A motivation from a grandma at the mama shop
And the sweet mama shop uncle
Thanks =)

Had an interesting conversation yesterday,
The one which Charmaine left me alone..
Haha
I have gratitute towads him,
After all, I got my combi because of him.
No matter how my physics friends dislike him,
I still think he's a nice person
=)

Kk
Gtg le

61 more days,
I hope to see you again.

Bb
Love ya~

2008-09-19T10:40:00.003+08:00

Hey...
Blogging again..

4 papers down yesterday...
GP p1, p2
Chineses p1, p2

Many more to go..
Tired

Shd I take chem paper?
Dunno..
Feel like rewarding myself..
Bt kinda bad if I dun take it.

Nvm.

Countless times of appearing.
Arent you tired?
LOL.
Perhaps it's because the day's nearing.
Every year.
Tormenting me?
73 more days.
Haha.
Come on man.
Appearing during REM
I think again,
The longing is still there.
I miss you.
I really really do.

Promos coming and ending soon?
Tired.
-.-

KK.
Gtg..
Slacking now.

2008-09-10T19:15:00.002+08:00

Hey..
Blogging again..

Argh..
Ulcer again..
Ouch.

Weekend was fun..
Drama marathon at Carol's chalet..
WOOO.
Kk..
Shall nt elaborate..
Shall go into the drama fan mood after promos..

School's -.-
Going thru, going thru and more going thru..
Super super boring..

Did a bad thing today..
Guilty.

During chinese class..
Had to help my group present something..
My chi = Super lousy.. <==
So...

All in chinese

Teacher: Go present, can practice for your OP
Me: But OP's in English? (Nevermind <-- Grumbles)
Me: (Started to read, read directly frm paper [ I didnt write it] )
(Read --> consisiting of my pauses and stumbles because, refer to above <==)
Charmaine: (Read much better but teacher showed indifferent face)
Teacher: (Comments on reading)
Teacher: ... (Cant rmb what she said)...
Teacher: Carry on and you will fail OP
Me: (With irritated face) Erm. OP's in english and my english is not so bad
(Tone's not very nice)

Ya.
That's all.
Result <-- teacher's face not too happy with what I said
Bt cant help it cuz I hate ppl looking down on me
With some cheering frm friends after my statement,
Teacher <-- Face more not so happy

Haiz.
I shall try to make up for what I did by being a little nicer to her.
Fact: I dont really like her
So,
that's the max I will do

Headache
=(

K
Gtg
bb

2008-09-05T18:44:00.002+08:00

Hey..
Blogging again..

Wooo..
I changed my blog song...

Hear it...
It's nt bad..
That wasnt my original choice..
Bt ok nevertheless...

Proud of myself?
Haha
Wanted to change my blog song to Superman in hot shot.
Went to imeem.com,
Results? 0..
No one posted it up yet.
Click,
Went to upload myself.
Next, guilt.
Amazed by myself.
Admist this process,
Thinking bout what Mr Tong said.
Bout piracy and all.
He said: How would you feel if you put so much effort into doing something and it gets circulated around without your permission and all.
K, maybe not exact words but the same meaning.
I tried to emphatise but can say,
failed.
I imagined if I composed a song and sold it in CD,
Uploaded by someone,
Spreaded all around.
Me: It's a good thing. Popularity?
Ya.
Naive thinking I know.
Cant help it, still havent gone out there.
Havent officially stepped into the working world
But hey,
I'm learning.
As I was uploading,
I thought of what Mr Tong said,
Killing creativity,
Complicated world of IP law and stuff.
Ya. I deleted the uploaded music within minutes.
Haha.

Max I will go?
To get stuff from friends
Will restrain from downloading.
=)

Well, Have till wait till someone uploads that superman song.
trying k?

LOL

Kk.. gtg
Bbs

2008-09-05T17:13:00.004+08:00

Hey..
Blogging again...

Long time no blog..
Kinda forgot the feel..
-.-

Promos coming.
Pressured?
I guess..

Recently heard.
You might have a new guy.
Is this true?
Gossip I hope.
Initially I heard,
I was angry,
I was angry with whoever that made it up.
I still remembered when I first heard it,

Me: Nah. Not true, not possible
Informative: You never know, you cant be certain.
Me: You are saying this because you dont know her.
Me: Please man, It's all crap. She wont do that.
Informative: Ya, ya, whatever.

Today, I heard it again,
From a whole new person,
From a whole new perspective,
From a whole new group of people.
Dont tell me it's true.
He told me you have changed much.
I didnt believe it entirely because I know,
Deep down,

You were still you.

I want to believe in you,
I want to let you know I am still on your side.
I want you to know I will be right here even if you dont need me,
Please dont let me down,
I will trust you.

Today was maths mock
Vectors = dead
Function = Also dead
See = skip
Lol

Holis are ending.

bout 2 more days?

Bus rides alone,
I hate them man.
Quiet,
For me to collect my thoughts,
For me to remember the days.

I will think back,
Earlier this year,
When I came back from a long long way,
With emo experience.
I will think back,
At the next segment,
When I wonder did I make a right choice.
One that often brings out the uncontrollable surge of emotions
I will think back,
When I finally thought it through,
To try to go back to normal.

Sometimes I wonder,
Why did I try so hard to get there?
Was it because I knew you were there?
Perhaps it was a subconcious effort.

Year after year,
When the holidays are here,
I stone on the bus seat,
Every trip,
Every ride,
There is,
A sense of anticipation.
If you are ever going to get on it,
If I would ever see you again.

Have you changed?
Have you changed alot?
I certainly have,
Secondary School,
Junior College,
Life.
The longing has not.
It really has not.
I never knew but it was there.
Only after the noise go away,
The lights have dimmed,
The atmosphere has died down,
I realised that through out so many things
So many incidents,
So many emotional breakdowns,
So many happy moments,
It's our memories that has carried me through,
When my world was collasping,
When I lost faith in almost everyone,
It was the heart warming momets we shared,
That made me feel,
At least,
At some time back then,
You were there for me.
There was someone I did not have to shield against.
Someone that makes me feel at ease.
The only person who could hit me without getting retaliation.
Lol. But I know you never will sincerely.

It has been many many years.
Will you be at the rink this year?

Kk..
Gtg...
Love ya~

2008-08-28T23:01:00.002+08:00

Blogging again.

Busy days

Olympics over.

Frenzy ended.

One thing's nt over.
Prejudice.
Fine.
All my fault.
Search my stuff = I cant be angry
Watch 1 day of show = everyday watch show
When i watch cuz nxt day no sch,
N i've been chionging for the past week le
-.-
Ya Ya
All my fault.

F man

2mr's teachers day.

bb

2008-08-09T17:25:00.002+08:00

Hey..
Blogging again..

Hectic preparatino for piano exam..
Did badly
=(

Cut my hair.
Looks weird.
End

Connect Singapore.
Hand in hand.
2 words

WT

Guess?

W_ _ _ _ _ T_ _ _ _

Answer?
Waste time
Dumbo event

Went char house.
WOOO.
BIG HOUSE.

Emptyness on the usual table..
For a week le..
Miss them so much!
WOOO
They are coming back 2dae...
Think they shd b on plane le =)

Kk..
Slacking now..
BB

2008-08-06T19:33:00.002+08:00

Hey..
Blogging again..

Happy and
SAD day..

=(

Currenly: Depressed..
Didnt win tickets =(
Super sad..
Ya..
Laugh all u wan
=(

Slightly happy cuz my angel gave me chocolate 2dae..
Bt returned it cuz I dun eat peppermint..
Nevertheless,
Effort appreciated..

Gave my mortal present.
Hope my mortal's happy.

2mr's piano exam
I am so going to pass..
(Later fail den =( x2 )

Sry.. Now super super sad..

My ticks
=(

2008-08-05T22:43:00.001+08:00

Hey..

Blogging again...

This week has been hectic..
Chiong piano all day..
Nvr touch hmwk..
LOL.

Broke record
Played lyk for 5 hours CONTINUOUSLY
lol

Sian
Hoping that I'll win f.i.r concert ticks..
=)
Expressing thanks to,
SHIRLEY
Thanks for much for cheering me on..
And helping me too..
Most importantly,
Believing in me =)

These few days played bridge with fellow classmates..
Was fun
=)

Piano exam coming..
2 more days..
ARGH
Expressing thanks again,
To Ms DIPLOMA holder, CHAR,
Thanks wor..
For giving me confidence,
To pass my exam
=)

Thanks for my angel,
Thanks for the orange pencil

Here's JW's quiz..
KINDA LONG

1. The person who last tag you is: JIN WEN

2.Your relationship with him is: Good friend =)

3. Your five impression of him:
1. Maths pro
2. Fellow anti jjcian
3. Anti (IBG) LOL
4. Prank caller
5.Good friend =)

4. The most memorable thing he has done for you: Emo together

5. The most memorable thing he had said to you: Yos (LOL)

6.If he become your lover, you will :erms

7. If he/she become your lover, thing he/she has to improve on will be: wun de la.. LOL

8. If he/she become your enemy, you will: take away his maths paper?

9. If he/she become your enemy, the reason will be: dunno

10. The most desire thing you want to do for him/her now is: update me on how's macau

11. Your overall impression of him/her is: nice person

12. How you think people around you will feel about you?: Dunno.. Lame?

13. The characters you love of yourself are: dunno leh.. friendly ba.. talkative?

14. On the contrary, the characters you hate yourself are: still dunno..

15. The most ideal person you want to be is: myself

16. For people that care and like you, say something to them:thanks so much

17. Pass this quiz to 10 persons that you wished to know how they feel about you: (eh nt intending to pass.. cuz they most likely do le ba.. )
Think i shall keep within 4e1
1. Li Huan
2. Shirley
3. Reuben
4. Steven
5. Ronald
6. Aik song
7. Yan Shan
8. Melicia
9. Shi qi
10. Zhen Xiong aka SHERWIN

18. Who is no.6 having relationship with? (Egg) Some touch rugby girl ba..

19. Is no.9 a male or female? (Lao mu) She's a BOMBA

20. If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing? (Xiong and shan ) LOL.

21. What is no.2 studying about? (Shir) Same COMBI as me =)

22. When was the last time you had a chat with no.3? (Reub) 31/7, during ot meeting

23.What kind of music band does no.8 like? (msua) classical and many many

24. Does no.1 have any siblings?(Steve) 1 sister i think

25. Will you woo no.3?(reub) LOL.

26. How about no.7? (shan) 2(lol)

27. Is no.4 single? (steve) Shd b?

28. What is the surname of no.5?(ron) toh-s

29. What 's the hobby of no.4? photosynthesizing? haha

30. Does no.5 and 9 get along well? (ron and lao mu) ya

32. Talk something casually about no.1 TREE

33. Have you tried developing feelings for no.8? (Msua) MAYBE.

KK.. no time to do rest le..
gtg le.. bb..
nites..
love ya~

2008-07-25T21:47:00.002+08:00

Hey..

Blogging again..

Alas..
Another week has passed..

Nearing my piano exam

This week has been so so so much better..
Monday's chem mcq test
LOL.
Damn hard
= dead

Bt happy now
Cuz did quite well for bio mcq
=)
Even though everyone did well too,
I am still happy.
I still rmb when me and shir gt back our papers
We were like
OMG
Dun believe scored dat high..
So tyco man..
I mean for me..
Nt shir..
Haha

Ms Goh: These two arh, constantly talking
( Dun have lor)
Me and Shir: ...
Ms Goh: But I wont scold them cuz they scored me decent grades for the mcq
Me and Shir: o.O

Well,
It was something like that?

Debate
=)
Went extremely well
WOOOOOOO
Super happy
My team wasnt prepared at all man..
Impromtu
I really meant impromtu
Bt woooo!
We did well!
OPPO rules!
Speakers :

Shafiq
Me
Egg
Young Min

Glad we won
=)
Super big boast..
Think I did ok..

Special thanks to
CLICK 6
=)
Thanks for the support and encouragement
Happy

Monday gt F.I.R concert winning chance
WOOO
I am so going WIN
Wahaha

Kk..
Gtg le..
Bbs
Love ya

2008-07-15T22:21:00.002+08:00

Hey..
Blogging again...

Alot of things happened.
Nt going to comment.
Broke down.

The fateful trigger.
The problem that existed long ago.
Just that things finally happened.

Worse week with test,
Coupled by emotional setbacks.
Dont try to imagine what has happened to me.
You cant

Bt just a word of thanks

To serena,
For always being the first one to respond

To lao mu,
For listening and support.
Something would really have happened to me if you werent there,
Thanks for being my pillar of support,
My listening ear,
Someone that knows I am not okay.
Thanks for being there through these days,
I know it's not ending soon but thanks.
I really wouldnt have survived without you.

Still undergoing.
And I know that worst is yet to come,
Every day I ponder,
What am I doing here?
Why dont I just disappear?

When it happened,
I wanted to call you.
But I was afraid of the disappointment I would receive,
The ones that took place before.

Dont ask if I'm ok,
Cause I will tell you I am.